No Such Thing
by changenotcoins
Summary: I'd like to think the best of me is still hiding up my sleeve. Inspired by the song No Such Thing by John Mayer. AngelCollins, MimiRoger, MaureenJoanne.
1. Chapter 1

Addictive Love

Summary: "I'd like to think the best of me is still hiding up my sleeve." - John Mayer, 'No Such Thing'

A/N: Okay, so let me clarify a few things before I'm bombarded with questions about what's going on: Yes, they are all seniors. No, Joanne and Mimi are not in this story. YET. But they will be soon. Yes, Benny and April are still friends with them and/or not dead and such, but they will be out of the picture eventually. And, of course, me being the Collins/Angel WORSHIPPER I am, this is Collins/Angel centric, but will include other couples.

Seventeen year old Thomas B. Collins, or Collins as he preferred to be called, walked to the old, abandoned building that had burnt down several years ago. It was the place Collins and his friends met every day before the start of morning classes since freshman year.

That first day of senior year only Mark was there when Collins arrived, and he waved merrily at Collins. He clutched his camera in one hand and his trademark blue and gray scarf in the other.

"Hey, Markie! It's been all summer. Where's everybody else?"

He shrugged nonchalantly. "I have no idea. Roger's never early, and with April fawning over him, neither is she," he paused a grinned like a bashful schoolboy. "And Maureen - well, you know her - she loves making a dramatic entrance. Benny...I don't know where Benny is."

"Still dating Maureen?" Collins asked, pulling out a joint and lighting it.

"Yeah..." Mark replied dreamily, and Collins laughed.

As if on cue, Maureen skipped over. "I'm heeeere!" she sang, stooping down to give a wet kiss to Mark, then turning and planting another one on Collins forehead. Collins laughed and batted her away playfully.

"So, Collins and Pookie, how was your guys' summer?"

"Lots of filming."

"You know the 'rents. Absolutely positively nothing good happened to me." Collins said, rolling his eyes in annoyance. Maureen motioned for him to hand over his smoke and he obliged.

"No smutty dates, Collins?" Maureen asked.

Collins gave Maureen a mock glare. "No dates, smutty or otherwise. With a goddamn homophobic town like this? Yeah, right - that goes against everything those stupid country club people believe in," he said. "And Lord knows I wouldn't _dream_ of betraying them."

Both Mark and Maureen laughed at Collins' sarcastic remark.

"Poor Collins." Maureen pouted.

"Nah, it's all right," he said. "Besides, love is...overrated. I don't really believe in it, first sight or whatever else."

Mark nodded and Maureen shrugged.

Benny appeared moments later, bumping Collins fist with his, and waving at Mark and Maureen.

Then came Roger and April. April's arm was slung around Roger's waist and Roger's face was buried in her neck. They sat down, ignoring everyone else. Evidently they were very engrossed in just each other.

They were an odd group of friends, really, having grown up with each other, first bonding over the fact that they and their morals could never fit into their parents' high society. They shared everything with each other, and Collins knew they had each other's back through thick and thin, but most of all he realized they were more of a family than his mother and father ever could be. It was the reason he loved them so much - each and every one of them - they didn't judge him.

He and his friends talked and laughed and reminisced about the things that had happened over summer until the first bell rang. They all rushed away to get to their homerooms. Collins hadn't even looked at his schedule, but he hoped for the sake of his sanity that at least one of his friends would be with him.

"Shit." he muttered, trying to open his jammed locker. He pulled, but it wouldn't budge, so he gave one last hard yank, and it swung open. It slammed hard into his nose. The hallway was empty by then, so no one saw him injure himself. He grabbed his books, and checked his watch.

"Dammit." He was late. He whipped around, running full speed down the hallway and - not watching where he was going - slammed hard into what felt like another person's body. Books of various kinds and an array of papers went flying everywhere. The clamor of the books echoed throughout the empty hallway.

"Oh, fuck, I'm really sorry." Collins muttered, reaching down and picking up a chemistry book. As he bent down, he noticed bright orange high tops. His eyes moved up, taking in the well-worn jeans and the orange designs on a tight black t-shirt - but not too tight, in order to conform with the dress code, he assumed.

The boy stood, offering Collins his hand, which Collins gladly accepted. "It's okay. No harm done." He grinned at Collins, and now that they could see each other clearly, Collins noticed more and more about this intriguing boy, a boy he had never seen before. He was small, shorter than Collins, maybe even scrawny in a sense - certainly not scrawnier than Mark, however - but as he reached down to pick up another book, Collins saw his forearms bulge. And - as their eyes met for the first time - Collins noticed they were a deep chocolate color, alive and bright. He also noticed the smooth caramel Latino skin, the black eyebrows, his somewhat curly black hair and -

"I'm Angel, by the way." his sweet, melodic voice caused Collins to come right back to reality. He extended his hand and Collins shook it.

Collins furrowed his brow in confusion. "Angel...?"

"Yeah. It's short for Angelo. Old family name which I don't particularly like, so I _prefer_ Angel."

Collins smiled genuinely at Angel. "Indeed. Friends call me Collins. Tom, Tom Collins," he paused, wondering what he could possibly say next. "So, um, you're new here, right?"

"Yep. My parents moved out here because my dad got a new job. Mimi - she's my best friend back home - didn't want me to leave, but I didn't really have a choice in the matter. I don't even know anyone yet - " he smiled. "Well, except you. All my friends are back in my old town."

"Well, look... um, if you want, you could sit with me and friends at lunch. I think you'd like them."

"Really? That'd be great."

"Yeah, we're at the back table by the soda machine. Just look for me, okay?"

"Hey, thanks!"

Collins smiled. "No problem," he looked down at his watch and groaned. "Ugh, I just missed homeroom, and I'm pretty sure you did, too. Second period starts in five minutes, so... I'll see you later?"

"Sure." Angel grinned, and with one last wave, they departed.

A/N: Yay! Chapter 1 is done. R&R, please! Yes, Collins _did _say he doesn't believe in love, but SOMEONE just might change his mind. coughAngelcough Chapter 2 will either come later today or tomorrow. :)

**Next chapter: Angel joins the Collins and the bohos for lunch, Roger mentions something about a party he's having over the weekend, Collins gets a bright idea involving the party, Angel and Collins find out each other's sexuality, and Angel gives Collins a little 'present'. ;)**


	2. Chapter 2

Addictive Love

Summary: "I'd like to think the best of me is still hiding up my sleeve." -John Mayer, 'No Such Thing'

Collins sat down at their usual lunch table. Roger was already there, looking hot and sweaty from P.E., which Collins found a little odd, considering it was late September in New York.

"God, Roger, what the hell were you doing?"

"Playin' an intense game of football." Roger smirked. Collins laughed and eyed him all too knowingly. He knew Roger had never been the sporty type.

"So where's April, then?"

"Um...she had to clean up. She played in the football game, too."

"Oh, so that's what the kids are calling it these days?"

Roger glared menacingly at Collins. "Fuck off, Thomas." he said in a warning tone.

"Sex is no secret, Rog," Collins said. "Other people - not just you and April - have been skipping class to do it since God knows when."

"Oh, that's reassuring. What about you? Ever skip class to do a guy?"

"Um, no. On the contrary - I try to avoid it. I _really_ don't want to hide in the janitor's closet fumbling around and having brooms go into places I certainly don't want them," Collins said. "Besides, I've never done a guy _anyways_."

"Thank you, Thomas, for that lovely image," Roger shuddered and then got a puzzled expression on his face. "Hey, where were you in homeroom? Mrs. Colson called roll, but you weren't there."

Collins face flushed, just thinking about his run-in with Angel. There was something about Angel that Collins couldn't quite put his finger on, but it was most definitely the good kind of something.

"Goddamn locker wouldn't open and then...I kind of...bumped into someone."

Roger took out his guitar case and started fiddling with the locks. "Anyone we know?" he said absentmindedly.

"No, but I asked him to eat lunch with us today. He's new and doesn't know anyone."

"Cool," came the bored musician's reply. Roger looked up and he was grinning like mad. "Oh, hey, I forgot to tell you this morning - in true, bohemian 'we're finally seniors' tradition, this weekend, I'm going to throw a booze-filled party while the 'rents are away. You game?"

Collins grinned, knowing Roger's parties were always the highlight of the year. "Of course."

Benny sauntered over, sliding into the seat opposite Collins. Maureen and Mark came over next, followed by April whose cheeks were flushed for obvious reasons. They all laughed and threw food at each other, making fun of their teacher's and talking about a prank that Collins had pulled in freshman year that had landed him in detention for the rest of that year and then - Collins looked behind him and spotted Angel not too far away. He stood up and waved Angel over, and Angel grinned on impulse at seeing Collins.

"Hey." he smiled warmly at Collins, taking a seat beside him.

"Hey, Angel," he smiled back, making Angel's insides flutter. "I'd like you to meet my friends - Roger Davis, Mark Cohen, April Ericsson, Benny Coffin, and Maureen Johnson."

Angel paid close attention as Collins pointed out each of his friends. A musician, a geeky camera man, a redheaded junkie, a quiet black guy and a drama queen. Angel felt a tad bit intimidated by them because of how close they all seemed to be and how he was the odd one out, but he figured that since they were Collins' friends, he'd do his best to get to know them.

"Everybody, this is Angel...?" Collins racked his brain for Angel's last name, and then it occurred to him that Angel had never even given it to him.

"Dumott Schunard." Angel answered.

"So, Angel, what school are you from?" Roger asked.

"Oh, Roosevelt High a few towns over. Boring school, boring people."

"How do you like it here so far?" Mark asked quietly.

"Well, things seem to have picked up." Angel glanced at Collins as if to say he was the reason, but he seemed to be fighting with Maureen about something and didn't notice Angel's meaningful glance.

At that moment, the bell rang and everyone packed up all their things, heading to their next class.

Angel lingered, letting everyone pass him by, hoping Collins would stay. And, to Angel's surprise, he did.

"So, Angel, what class do you have next?"

"Chemistry." Angel made a disgusted face and Collins laughed. "You?"

"AP Math."

"So you're smart?"

Collins glared playfully at Angel, and Angel giggled. "Contrary to popular belief, yes."

"So a smart, charming, nice looking guy like you..." Angel grinned. "You must have a girlfriend, right? Ohhh, let me guess, Maureen?"

Collins chuckled. "First of all, Maureen and I are _just_ friends. We bond over our anarchist ways," Collins replied. "And second of all, let's just say girls aren't exactly my type."

"Oh, but guys are?"

"Certainly."

Angel grinned. It was the one thing he'd been hoping Collins would say since he had met him.

"Interesting. See, I would've thought that in a homophobic town like this, you'd want to keep that to yourself."

Collins laughed lightly. "Oh, well, I only tell the people I actually _like_," Angel's heart beat faster at those words. "My friends know; the school and my parents don't."

"So then how do you keep your boyfriends a secret?"

"I've never actually..." he trailed off, embarrassed to be telling Angel this. The last thing he wanted to do was look like a complete fool in front of him.

Angel placed a comforting hand on Collins' shoulder and it sent shivers through his body. "Don't feel bad. Neither have I." Angel said in a sympathetic tone.

"So you are...?" Collins prompted.

"Pretty much fully gay, yes."

"That's good to know," Collins shifted, getting more and more nervous by the second in Angel's presence. He had never, ever felt this way about any other guy. Sure, he knew he was gay - he had never even liked a girl in that way before - but this was...different. _Angel_ was different. Collins was completely mesmerized by him.

"Angel...?" he began softly. "I think we're running into a slight problem."

Angel's eyes flashed with worry. "Yeah, what?" he asked quietly.

"Every time you and I are in the same place, we always end up late for our next class."

Angel giggled, instantly relaxing. "It seems that way."

"Angel, listen. Um, I'm not _great_ at this shit, but what the hell? I'll give it a try. Roger is having a party on Friday and I thought maybe you wanted to come - " Collins paused, wiping his sweaty hands on pants. He was _very_ nervous. " - with me."

Angel raised one of his dark eyebrows curiously, a small smile present on his lips. "Collins, are you asking me to be your date?"

Collins furrowed his brow, and frowned, pondering the question. "Yes, I rather think I am." He looked up and flashed Angel a dazzling smile.

"Then the answer's yes," Angel smiled kindly at Collins, his eyes bright and alive and - before Collins even knew what was happening - Angel leaned down and gave Collins a kiss on the cheek.

The kiss was quick, Angel's soft lips lingering for only a few seconds, but - for just a kiss on the cheek - it sent shivers up and down Collins' spine. His heart leapt in his chest.

"See you tomorrow, Collins." he said softly, and with that, he turned and walked away.

"Yeah," Collins breathed dreamily, his fingers grazing the spot on his cheek where Angel had kissed him. "See you."

A/N: Muahaha, Angel's 'present' for Collins was a little kiss. Hehe, I'm evil. Anyways, I want to say **missxflawless**, you made me laugh EXTREMELY hard at your idea at a 'present', which I have to say is a better 'present' than mine. I kept laughing at the dinner table and my parents looked at me like I was on drugs. But seriously, that was funny. ;)

**Next chapter:** **Angel and Collins go to Roger's party. That's basically it. Although there's some more action between Collins and Angel. Collins meets Angel's brother, too. Oh, and there's a very touching moment between Roger and Collins. **


	3. Chapter 3

Addictive Love

Summary: "I'd like to think the best of me is still hiding up my sleeve." - John Mayer, 'No Such Thing'

A/N: **IMPORTANT**: See, the content of this story will be getting more and more... intense, shall we say? I just wanted to forewarn you, and ask if you're okay with that. The rating will upped to M (not quite yet, but sometime soon) and if you have any questions, feel free to PM me.

The usually long, harrowing weekdays went by surprisingly quick, and before Collins knew it, it was Friday morning.

He breathed deeply. Twelve more hours.

He walked to school, and met everyone by the old building. Angel was sitting beside Mark, who was showing him something on his camera. Angel had officially joined their group - he was now part of their 'family'.

The kiss from Angel had been the only thing Collins could think about the entire week. Collins wanted Angel to do it again...and then kiss him and do more much in the many other places he could think of.

Collins sat down next to Roger, who was busy fixing a chord on his guitar. "Hey, man."

"Hey, Collins." Roger noticed Collins gazing longingly at Angel. Roger had seen it all week - the flirting, the looks - and he knew Collins was falling, hard. It worried him because Collins never fell for anyone, and even if he did, he would always end up messing things up. He wanted Collins to be happy, not heartbroken.

"You know, if you like him so much, you should just ask him out."

Collins laughed at Roger's apparent blindness. "I already have. To your party tonight."

Roger playfully punched Collins on the arm. "Good going, dude," he replied. "Just... be careful with your heart, all right?"

"You think _Angel_ will break my heart?" Collins was surprised; they all - including Roger - knew Angel was sweet, never wanting to hurt anyone, always giving love.

"No, I think _you_ will break your heart," Roger stated and Collins shot him a puzzled look. "I know you, Collins. Don't convince yourself you don't deserve what he has to offer, because you do, and you have a lot to offer in return. Don't give up if and when you're happy with him, and don't walk away because you think he deserves better. There _is_ nothing better than you, man."

Collins was extremely touched by his friend's words. Roger wasn't exactly the sensitive type, but his advice meant a lot to Collins.

Collins slung his arm over Roger's shoulder and brought him in for a hug. "Thank you."

"Yeah, yeah. Don't get all mushy on me, Collins. It's not good for my image."

"What image?" Collins joked and Roger glared at him. Collins looked over at Angel, who was now sitting against a tree, his eyes closed. Collins wandered over and gently placed a hand on Angel's knee, causing him to wake up. On impulse, Angel grinned upon seeing Collins. Collins grinned back and sat down next to Angel, resting his back against the tree.

"Hey." Collins said softly.

"Hey." Angel replied. "What's up?"

"I was just wondering when I should pick you up, if we're still - "

"I'm still going. I'm not backing out," he laughed. "Don't worry so much, Collins." Angel pulled out a scrap piece of paper and handed it Collins.

It was Angel's scribbled address in neat but loopy cursive.

"Thanks." he said. Collins wasn't paying much attention to anything or anyone, besides Angel and the paper, and he didn't hear the next bell ring. Angel ran his hand over Collins' arm and stood.

"See you later, Collins."

That day went by agonizing slow. Neither Collins nor Angel could concentrate on anything all day. Their thoughts were occupied by what would or wouldn't happen that night.

As the last class ended, a thought occurred to Collins. "Maureen!" he called.

She turned around and bounded over. "What's up, Pookie?"

"I need your help."

"Anything for you, babe!"

"I don't know what to wear..."

"Ohhh, I can fix that!"

--------------------

"God, Collins, you have no party attire! How do you live with yourself?!"

Maureen was driving Collins nuts, no doubt, throwing each and every item on the floor, looking at them in disgust, but she knew what she was doing, and he trusted her on that.

"Ohhh," she squealed. "Now this is so you!"

--------------------

Collins pulled up in front Angel's house. Oddly enough, it was in the neighborhood right next to his, so he didn't feel out of place.

He knocked on the door three times, and about a minute later it swung open to reveal a small boy. Collins could tell he was definitely related to Angel. Same color skin, same eyes...

"Is Angel here?" Collins asked tentatively, careful not to scare the boy. The boy scurried away, returning only moments later.

"He's coming."

"Thanks," Collins smiled at the boy. "What's your name?"

"Antonio." he replied shyly.

Collins extended his hand. "I'm Collins."

The boy shook it. "I know. Angel talks about you all the time."

"Really?" Collins asked curiously, wondering what exactly Angel had said.

"Yep. He says he likes you a whole lot and that he wants to do some stuff to you that my mom says I'm to young to know about and - "

He abruptly stopped speaking when Angel appeared by his side.

"Hey, Collins," he grinned. "Ready?"

Collins was still laughing at what Antonio had been saying, but he managed to choke out a simple 'yes'.

Angel reached down and planted a kiss on Antonio's forehead. "Be good for Mama, okay?"

"Si."

They headed out, and Collins - always the gentleman - opened the passenger side door for Angel. He slipped into the driver's seat.

"What were laughing at?" Angel asked, smiling at Collins.

"Your brother told me some pretty interesting things you said about me."

Angel looked bewildered. "What?!"

"He said you like me a lot and that you want to do some things to me he's too little to know about."

Angel groaned. "Oh, fuck," he sighed. "Okay, first of all, in my defense, I was talking to Mimi on the phone in what I assumed was a private conversation, but he likes to eavesdrop. And second, I won't deny I said it, because I did and I meant it."

Collins blushed, and he instantly felt it in his face. He laughed awkwardly, not knowing how to respond, but it turned out he didn't have to.

"You're cute when you blush." Angel giggled.

Collins looked away, not wanting Angel to see how flustered he'd gotten. Then, he turned back to Angel and their eyes met. Angel could see the seriousness in his eyes, so he quit laughing.

"Look, Angel, are you sure you want to go tonight?"

"Of course! From what I hear, Roger's parties are not something I want to miss."

"No, I meant - I mean - " he paused, trying to think straight. "I grew up with them, and I love them; they're much more my family than my mom and dad ever were - are, but I know them and things can get out of control, and I just wouldn't want you to do something you'd regret. They're pretty reckless."

Angel reached out and placed his hand over Collins' dark cheek and stroked it gently. "Oh, Collins, thank you for caring about me but, but forget regret or life is yours to miss," Angel smiled sweetly. "Besides, there's nothing I would regret doing with you."

"Okay, are you sure you're ready? I mean, we could just - "

"Collins, no, we're staying. I can handle this."

"Angel?"

"Hmm?"

Collins glanced down and touched his fingertips to Angel's. "Can I...?"

Angel smiled at him and laced his fingers with Collins, and Collins smiled in return.

He raised his free hand to knock on the door, but before he got the chance to actually knock, the door opened.

"Pookie!" Maureen launched herself at Collins, wrapping her arms around his neck for support. Collins staggered backwards at the heavy weight and almost fell.

"Wow, Maureen!" he said, his voice a little strained. Maureen let go and ran off to puke behind a bush. Angel and Collins winced at the vomiting noises.

"I hate to say I told you so, but..." Collins said, and Angel just giggled uncontrollably.

He squeezed Collins hand gently. "Let's go inside before _I_ puke." Collins laughed and they walked inside.

It really was pure chaos. Drunk teenagers everywhere, trash scattered about the floor, loud music blasting from overhead... Collins wondered how they'd avoided getting arrested by this point, but he loved this stuff; it was Angel he was more concerned about. The sweet, caring young man didn't belong in this environment, but little did Collins know, Angel was sucker for this stuff, too.

Roger wandered over. He was one of the very few who weren't drunk. Then again, Roger had always been annoyingly good at holding his liquor. "Hey, guys!" he shouted over the music. "We're just about to play a game of 'I Never'. You gotta play!" he drifted off to get beers for Collins and Angel.

Angel looked at Collins suspiciously. "Wha - "

"And let the stupid games begin," he muttered, turning back to Angel. "Actually, this one _is_ kind of fun. It's when they start rolling out games like 'Seven Minutes In Heaven' and 'Spin The Bottle' that makes me really uneasy."

Angel smirked. "You don't like making out games?"

"Oh, no, I do, but only when it's with someone I actually _like_. I usually get either a girl - nothing likely to happen there - or some guy who doesn't like me at all or a really disgusting, hairy guy that I wouldn't touch."

Angel grimaced and then laughed. Roger returned with some bottles of Stoli. He handed one to Collins and the other to Angel and then led them over to the circle of people anxiously waiting to play the game.

"All right, rules..." Roger said. "You take a drink every time someone says an 'I Never' you _have_ done, and when it's your turn, you have to say an 'I Never' that's actually true on your part. I'll start," he paused, thinking. "I never... made out with a guy."

Collins, Angel, Maureen and April all took a drink.

"I never... slept with anyone." Collins said. Maureen, April, Benny, Mark and Roger all took a drink. Collins looked over at Angel and smiled at the fact that he hadn't taken a drink. It told him much more about the type of person Angel was.

"I never... streaked." Mark said quietly.

Collins and Maureen were the only two to tip their bottles.

Angel eyed Collins curiously. "You've streaked before?"

Collins nodded. "Erm... yeah. When you're an anarchist, it's pretty much the law."

"More like _against_ the law." Benny mumbled.

"This is booooring, Roger! Let's play Spin The Bottle or... ohhh, Seven Minutes In Heaven!" Maureen giggled excitedly. "You have, like, a ton of closets around here. We could all go!"

"Oh, shit." Angel heard Collins say under his breath. He giggled at the frightened look on Collins face.

Maureen grabbed Mark, April grabbed Roger and Benny grabbed some other random girl.

Before being fully dragged away by his girlfriend, Roger turned to Collins, winking and said, "Get your freak on, man."

Collins glared at Roger. "Not helping." he mouthed, and then turned back to Angel, offering him his hand.

"Where are we going?" Angel asked.

"To a closet."

Angel instantly brightened at these words and followed Collins out. Collins found a closet that didn't smell bad, had no occupants and lots of room. He ushered Angel inside, closed the door behind him, and they sat down amongst a pile of clothes.

"So I _am_ someone you like, then?" Angel grinned devilishly.

"Oh, yes," Collins replied, returning the grin. "Very much so."

"Good."

Collins smiled. "Um, Angel?"

Their eyes met and Collins could see the brightness in Angel's eyes. "Yeah?"

"I'm not real great at this."

"You're doing fine."

Collins smiled warmly, grateful for Angel's reassurance. He ran his fingertips over the rim of his beer bottle nervously. "I, uh... I've fooled around with guys before - I mean, kissing and stuff, and not really caring about them or their feelings, but I've never been serious, never been in a real relationship. And I just don't want to screw this - " he gestured between the two of them. "- up, because I really like you, a lot, and I'd hate myself if I - " Collins stopped abruptly, watching as Angel laced his fingers with his own.

"I get that you're shy and you like to take things slow," Angel said quietly. "And so am I. But don't worry about me so much. I mean, I love the fact that you care so much, but I can make my own decisions, and my decision now is that I want something with you. Whatever that something is."

Collins leaned closer, their faces now only inches apart, and Angel could feel Collins hot breath on his face. Collins smiled, and Angel smiled back, letting Collins know that whatever he wanted to do, it was okay.

"We've been in here for _way_ more than seven minutes and we haven't done a single thing." Collins breathed.

"So don't you think you should get on that, then?" Angel breathed back.

"Mmhm," he muttered, leaning a tad bit closer. "Can I kiss you?"

"Do I look likely to object?" Angel said, and Collins closed up the distance between them, brushing his lips over Angel's.

The kiss was tender, gentle and slow at first, but then both boys grew hungrier for more, and it turned fiery and passionate. Collins - trusting his and Angel's judgement about how far to take things - carefully parted Angel's lips and slipped his tongue inside Angel's mouth, exploring the new territory. Angel gave a soft moan and Collins smiled against his lips.

Angel pulled away far too soon, and Collins noted the serious look on his face. "Collins, I think I'm going to go, okay?"

Collins eyes flashed with worry. Had he pushed things too far?

"Angel, if I - "

"No, silly, it wasn't you. _You_ were great." Angel giggled. "You're coming with me."

Collins relaxed. "Where?" he asked curiously, raising his eyebrows.

"For a walk." Angel pulled Collins up by the arm, and they snuck out of Roger's house, although it wasn't too hard to go unnoticed because everyone was too drunk to notice. They chose not to walk on the sidewalk, but instead chose the actual street. The streetlights illuminated the street, and Collins reached out and laced his fingers with Angel's. Angel smiled innocently, and Collins smiled back bashfully.

At that moment, Collins just knew - he could see how easy it would be to fall hopelessly, madly, truly, head over heels in love with Angel. It was happening already and he could feel it - the way his stomach did flip flops at even the _mention_ of Angel, let alone when he actually saw him; the spark that their eyes had when they looked at each other, and of course, the kisses - and it scared the shit out of him for reasons he couldn't explain.

They walked in silence for a long time, just enjoying each other's company and the nice night, when Collins decided to break the ice.

"I didn't know you were Spanish."

Angel looked at Collins, puzzled and pointed to himself. "I don't look it?"

Collins laughed. "No - well, yes, you do - but I meant you actually speak Spanish and everything, don't you?"

"Yeah, I'm Dominican and I speak Spanish with my mom, my brother and Mimi. Why?"

Collins smiled. "Oh, nothing. I just think it's cool that you actually embrace your culture. My family doesn't even celebrate Kwanza. It's pretty sad."

Angel gave a small 'hmm' in reply and they kept on walking until Angel spoke up this time. "Collins?"

"Yeah?"

Angel hesitated, and Collins turned to face him, concerned that maybe something was wrong. "Angel? You okay?"

"I just... I want you _so _bad." Collins instantly had the urge to laugh, but held it in upon seeing the sincerity on Angel's delicate features.

"Oh. Well, um, I - "

"Collins! No! I didn't mean it like that - although, that'd be nice too because I do want you in that way - but I meant... I've barely known you for - what? A week? And I already feel closer to you than anyone else in my entire lifetime, but you _have_ to know that if we pursue this any further, things are going to get complicated. With our parents, at school...I just want to forewarn you about what you're getting yourself into because people are going to talk and if you don't want that, then we - "

Collins placed a finger gently on Angel's lips and leaned so close that Angel could see the softness in his big, brown eyes and feel the hot, beer smelling breath of his. "Sh, Angel... I care about you, but what I don't give a damn about is what people are going to think or say. I never have and I never will, and when it comes time to tell our parents, we will. Together," Collins smiled gently. "And believe me, I want you in that way - in every way - too." he whispered.

He pulled Angel closer and placed a soft kiss on his lips. His hands gripped Angel's waist to keep steady because his legs literally felt like Jell-O; he figured they might just give way soon if he didn't find something to hold onto. Angel wrapped his arms around Collins' neck, and a low moan escaped his lips. Collins' hands slid up Angel's back and then over his forearms.

"You work out, don't you?" Collins asked against Angel's lips.

"... Sort of. Why?"

Collins nodded approvingly. "Very nice."

Angel giggled. "Well, you're not so bad yourself," he said, running his hand over Collins' chest and then back down to his forearms. "You know, Collins, this is pretty romantic."

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah. Kisses in the middle of the street at midnight when no one else is around and just the streetlights are here to guide us," Angel grinned. "_And_ you've been a perfect gentleman."

Collins looked at Angel, surprise written all over his face. "I have?"

Angel playfully punched his arm. "Of course, you goof."

"Does this count as our first real date?"

Angel's face took on a thoughtful look that Collins thought was absolutely adorable. "I suppose."

"Actually, me being the perfect gentleman I am, I figured I should ask you on a _real_ date."

Angel pouted. "This wasn't a real date?"

Collins laughed at Angel's cute face and leaned in to give him a quick kiss on the lips. "Well, in a sense, but I want to take you out and have it just be the two of us," Collins said. "So, Angel, will you go out on a real date with me?"

Angel grinned. "Gladly."

A/N: Wow, that was long. Anyways, reviews make me happy, and a happy author updates sooner. :)


	4. Chapter 4

Addictive Love

Summary: "I'd like to think the best of me is still hiding up my sleeve." -John Mayer 'No Such Thing'

The next morning, Angel awoke from his peaceful slumber - filled with a delicious dream of Collins - with a killer headache. He tried to get out of bed but his small body ached all over.

A few minutes after he awoke, his mother entered the room to take his temperature. "Oh, mijo, you're burning up. I think you have the stomach flu."

"But that means puking, right? And I don't feel like puking, so I'm fine - " he abruptly stopped talking and clamped a hand over his mouth, sprinting to the bathroom.

"You're fine, huh?"

"Ugh..." came the strained sounds from the bathroom. "I think I should call Collins. See if he's okay."

"Is he the mystery boy you wouldn't let me meet last night?"

"Yes."

"Tell him to come on over. I'm anxious to meet him."

"I am not going to hand you an opportunity to interrogate him, Mom."

"I'm your mother. It's my job." Angel's mother left the room and returned seconds later with the phone.

Angel dialed Collins' number and waited.

"Hello?" came a familiar voice.

"Collins?"

"Angel, hey! What's up?"

"Ugh, well for starters I think I'm dying."

"What's wrong?"

"I have the stomach flu."

"Ouch, I'm sorry. Do you want me to come over?"

"Yeah, I do...I just wanted to make sure _you_ weren't puking your guts out."

"No, I'm not. I'll be there in about five minutes. I promise, okay?"

"Thank you."

"Of course."

Collins kept his word and he was there in less than five minutes. He rapped his knuckles on the door, and it swung open to reveal Antonio.

"Hi, Collins!" he waved excitedly.

"Hey! How are you?"

"Bueno!" From what little Spanish he did know, Collins inferred it was 'good'. "Come on, come inside! I want to show you my new army toy!" He dragged Collins in by his hand, leading him into the living room.

"See? Those green guys there - well Angel says they're in the military and they have big huge guns they shoot! And they drive big tanks."

Collins smiled gently. "On, yeah. My dad was in the military." he replied.

"That is so cool!"

"Yep, it is."

Collins and Antonio sat on the floor and Collins helped him set up and showed him where everything went and how to play. They were so engrossed in playing, Collins didn't even notice Angel's mother appear in the living room doorway.

"Having fun, you two?"

Collins stood up quickly and extended his hand. "I'm Tom - Tom Collins. I'm a... friend of Angel's."

Collins mother smiled warmly and shook his hand. "Don't worry, I know exactly who you are. It's nice to finally meet you."

"Yeah, same here."

"Angel's upstairs if you want to see him," his mother said. "And thank you - Antonio loves having someone to play with."

"Oh, it was no problem. I don't have any siblings, so it's nice to play with little kids every once in a while," Collins said and Angel's mom smiled at him. "Nice to meet you, Mrs. Schunard."

"Nice to meet you, too."

Collins climbed the stairs and knocked softly on Angel's door. Angel didn't answer, so Collins opened the door quietly and stepped inside. Angel was fast asleep on his bed, and Collins grinned. He looked adorable - as Collins always knew he would - an he sat down gently on the edge of Angel's bed. He reached out and stroked Angel's cheek, and Angel's lips curved into a tiny smile. He stirred and opened his eyes, breaking into a large grin when his eyes focused on Collins.

"Hey... sorry I woke you."

"No, I wanted to see you."

"Me too." Collins leaned in for a kiss, but Angel but a finger to his lips.

"No kisses."

Collins looked disappointed. "Why not?"

"Because if we kiss, you could get sick."

Collins gently pried Angel's finger away from his mouth. "I don't care." Collins smiled and gave Angel a tender kiss on the lips. Angel pulled away too quickly and Collins saw the shocked look on Angel's face, his hand covering his mouth.

"Angel? Are you okay?"

Angel shook his head and bolted for the bathroom. Collins could hear the vomiting noises and he rushed into the bathroom. Angel was leaning over the toilet, and Collins stroked his back.

"My kisses are that bad, huh?" Collins said softly.

Angel laughed feebly in return. "Of course not...ugh." He attempted to stand up, but almost fell over, and he gripped the bathtub for support. Collins wrapped his arm around Angel's waist and Angel slung his arm over Collins' shoulder.

"I must be _real_ attractive right now."

"Oh, but you are. I always think you're gorgeous." Collins said, pressing a kiss to Angel's forehead.

"You are too sweet, you know that?"

"Yes."

Collins led Angel over to his bed and gently placed him down. He placed his hand over Angel's forehead and winced. "You're hot, Angel."

Angel grinned devilishly. "I know."

Collins playfully glared at him. "I meant you have a fever," he replied. "Although, yes, you're very hot."

"Thank you."

"You should get some more rest."

Angel shook his head. "No, because then you'll just be sitting here with nothing to do."

"I could watch you sleep."

Angel laughed and ignored him. "Do your parents know you're here?"

"No," Collins said. "Earlier, I was forced to retire to my room with a headache and a good philosophy book. Or so they think."

"All right."

"Do you want me to get you some ibuprofen?"

Angel slid his arms around Collins' waist. "I don't need ibuprofen. I need you."

Collins chuckled and kissed Angel's cheek. "Would it make you feel better if I stayed and watched a movie with you or something?"

"Just you would make me feel better," Angel grinned. "But a chick flick will help, too."

"Okay." Collins put a movie in and then sat down in a chair close to the bed.

"Hey, Collins?"

"Yeah?"

Angel patted the bed and smiled innocently. "You can get in."

"Would that be okay?" Collins said uncertainly.

Angel giggled. "Yes."

Collins lifted the comforter and slid in next to Angel. His body was somewhat pressed against Angel's and he could feel all of his movements. "You're shivering, Angel." Collins said worriedly.

"I know. One minute I'm cold, the next minute I'm hot."

"Come here, Angelcake." Angel smiled at the use of the nickname as Collins pulled Angel to him, and let Angel's head rest on his chest. Angel slung his arm over Collins stomach and enjoyed the warmth of his body.

"You know. It's going to be dinnertime when the movie's over."

"Yeah..."

"My mom is going to make you stay for dinner."

"Really?"

"Yes," Angel said. "But consider it a good thing because she only lets the people she likes stay for dinner."

"Does she know... about me and you?"

Angel giggled ran his hands down Collins'arms. "Of course she does, silly."

"Oh. I just assumed you kept - "

" - you a secret? No, my mom and I share everything. She's okay with who I am. If I'm happy, she's happy."

"Mmkay."

They snuggled closer, and - when the movie was over - they wandered downstairs to see exactly what was going on. Angel's mother was in the kitchen, making some sort of Spanish dinner, and she turned to see who it was. She watched as this young man took care of her son - with all the gentleness and tenderness and love, even - and she approved.

"Collins, would you like to stay for dinner?" Angel's mother asked.

"Would you like to stay forever?!" Antonio shouted excitedly.

All three of them laughed at the little boy's remark and then Collins replied, "Well, I wouldn't want to impose - "

"Nonsense, mijo. We'd be glad to have you. _All_ of us." she smiled warmly at him.

"Well, okay, thanks. I just have to call my parents."

"Sure, phone's in the kitchen."

"Thanks."

Collins phoned home and told his parents he was staying at a friend's house and he'd be home later. He returned to the living room, seeing Angel lying on the couch, Antonio on the floor playing with his army men, and Angel's mother in the kitchen.

Collins carefully picked up Angel's legs and placed them on his lap, sitting down on the couch. "How ya feeling?"

"Pretty shitty."

"Think you'll be able to eat?"

Angel winced slightly. "No."

"Do you need a hug?" Collins asked softly, gazing at Angel.

"Yes..."

Angel sat up slowly and wrapped his arms around Collins' waist, reveling in the warmth of his body. Collins rested his chin on Angel's shoulder, stroking his back and breathing in his delectable scent.

"You have been so sweet today. I really appreciate it." Angel whispered.

"Well, of course I'd take care of my boyfriend when he's sick. I'm not heartless, you know."

Angel pulled away from Collins, his mouth hanging open and his eyes wide.

"Did I say something wrong?" Collins asked worriedly.

"You - you said you were my boyfriend." Angel choked out.

"Well...I am, aren't I?" when Angel didn't answer, Collins panicked. He swallowed. "I mean, if you don't want - "

Angel grinned from ear to ear. "No, I do. You've just never said it," he replied. "But it has a nice ring to it."

"Don't scare me like that."

"Didn't mean to." Angel took hold of Collins' chin and gave him a long kiss on the lips.

"Boys! Time for dinner!"

Antonio raced into the dining room and plopped himself down into one of the chairs. "Beat you." he said triumphantly. Angel stuck his tongue out at his little brother, slowly walking in with some assistance from Collins.

Then they ate a gourmet Spanish meal, and chatted about whatever came to mind. Angel's mother even questioned Collins about his intentions toward her son. After dinner, Collins helped clean up and then headed upstairs with Angel.

"Aren't your parents going to be worried you've been gone all day?"

"I told them I left the house when they were sleeping this afternoon and that I went to Mark's."

Angel gave him puzzled look. "Why not tell them you're here?"

"My mom would flip because she doesn't know you or your mom."

Angel giggled, and then a thought occurred to him. "You said your intentions were honorable. Is that true?"

"No." Collins replied and Angel's face fell.

"What the hell does that mean?" he said angrily.

Collins pulled Angel to him, wrapping his strong arms around Angel's tiny waist. "It means that I couldn't very well tell your mother that my _real _intention for you involved pinning you against the wall and having my way with you - I don't think she'd like that very much."

Angel's eyes widened momentarily and the his face lit up. "Is that a promise?"

"Yes."

"Like... for maybe right this second?"

Collins grinned mischievously. "Your wish is my command."

"Do it."

Collins laughed into Angel's neck and - staying true to his word - backed Angel up until he was firmly against the wall.

Their lips crashed onto each other, and the roaming of the hands began. Collins' hands were sliding up Angel's back , and Angel's were around his neck. Collins tongue was gliding over Angel's lips, and Angel parted them, granting Collins entrance. Then came moans from both boys, and Collins pulled away from Angel's lips, blazing a trail of kisses down Angel's neck. His hands slid down Angel's waist, to his hips and over the front of his pants where he could feel Angel's hardness.

Angel froze and Collins pulled back. "What's wrong, Angel?"

"I, um... I'm not ready for that, um, just yet."

Confusion clouded Collins' face and then realization dawned on him. "Oh, my God... I'm such an idiot," he groaned, mentally kicking himself. "Oh, Angel, I'm so sorry. We'll wait until you're ready, okay, baby?"

Angel had always thought he'd hate someone calling him 'baby'. To him, it was demeaning, but coming from Collins, it was nothing of the sort. It conveyed love, and Angel _loved_ that.

"Really? You'd do that for me?"

Collins smiled at Angel, scuffing his thumb over Angel's cheek. "I do anything for you." he said softly.

Angel grabbed a fistful of Collins' shirt and threw him down on the mattress.

"Damn, Angel. For someone who's sick, you sure can - " he was cut off abruptly when kissed him hard on the mouth.

"God, Angel..." he gasped, as Angel lifted part of his shirt and kissed down his stomach. He moved his lips back up to Collins' face and gave him a sweet kiss.

"Collins?"

"Hmm?"

Angel looked into Collins warm brown eyes. "S - stay." he said quietly.

Collins stared at Angel. "Here? With you?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure?"

Angel grinned. "Yes."

It was Collins' turn to grin. "I'd love that." he said. Angel snuggled closer to Collins, resting his head on Collins chest. Collins wrapped his arm around Angel and placed a soft kiss to his forehead. "How are you feeling?" Collins whispered.

"Better because you're here," Angel replied and Collins smiled. "I bet you're hating the fact that I want to wait." he said quietly.

"Of course not."

"Oh, come on, Collins. I've seen the lust in your eyes. You do, too."

Collins frowned at Angel, then took Angel's chin in his hand and gave him the softest kiss imaginable. "Don't _ever_ think that. Of course I want you - so badly - but if you say you want to wait, I'm more than willing to comply. For as long as you want. I promise you, Angel."

"Thank you." Angel whispered sweetly.

"You're welcome," Collins whispered back and brushed his lips over Angel's. "Now get some sleep, my Angel."

Angel fell asleep with a huge grin plastered on his face, dreaming the same sweet dreams of Collins that he was dreaming of Angel.

A/N: Okey doke, that's the new chapter. Haha, there's a Mulan reference in here, so anyone who can find it gets a big virtual hug. Oh, yeah, reviews please! ;)


	5. Chapter 5

Addictive Love

Summary: "I'd like to think the best of me is still hiding up my sleeve." - John Mayer, 'No Such Thing'

**A/N: WARNING: Smut is to come in this chapter. If you don't like it, don't read it. BUT I did warn you a few chaps ago, and the rating is upped to M, so there you go. Enjoy. ;) ****Oh, and be nice, please. This is my first attempt at smut. I couldn't help laughing the whole entire time I was writing it. **

Angel woke up with Collins' arm draped around his waist, and his back firmly pressed against Collins' chest. Angel didn't remember moving, or Collins curling around him, but he rather liked it, and as Angel stirred, Collins hugged Angel to him. Angel shifted further back into his body, loving how Collins' body felt against his own, and then stopped.

It _couldn't_ be.

"Collins?" he asked, his amusement banishing any early morning grogginess. "Is that - is that what I think it is?"

"Yes." he answered, nuzzling the back of Angel's neck.

"Well, it's nice to know you're pleased to see me." Angel giggled.

"It's an early morning thing, so don't flatter yourself." Collins replied.

Angel couldn't resist shifting against him a little, smirking. "And don't do that," Collins said, stopping the movement of Angel's hips with his hands. "or I'll be forced to do something very ungentlemanly."

Angel laughed and glanced over his shoulder to see Collins smiling softly. "How are you feeling?" he asked.

"Better."

"Good." Collins watched as Angel turned around to face him.

"We're alone, you know." Angel said.

Collins raised an eyebrow, wondering what exactly Angel was implying. "Oh, really?"

Angel grinned. "Yes. My mom went to work, and my brother is at his friend's house."

"And your mother trusts you to be _all alone _with me?" Collins asked.

"Yes."

"And what do you suggest we do while we're _all alone_?"

"This."

Angel leaned down and gave Collins a fierce kiss. He smelt crisp and delicious and just a hint musky from sleep, and Angel couldn't help wondering what it'd be like to curl up next to him in bed and breathe him in all night, and wake up with him every morning in this exact same way. They were utterly lost in this sensation for a while, a jumble of hands and lips and low, whispered moans, and it was delicious, inspiring a craving for more that grew in intensity as the moments passed. Collins positively _ached_ for him, and Angel knew exactly what he wanted.

Angel made his way down Collins slowly - way, _way_ down - down to Collins' chest muscles, to his abdomen that was lined with a strip of coarse hair, to the unexpected dip of his waist and then to his hips where he proceeded to pull down Collins' pants, throwing onto the floor. The only thing it seemed Collins could do was take a sharp inward breath and close his eyes.

"Angel..." Collins moaned.

Angel moved upward and captured Collins' lips in a soft, sweet kiss. "Just trust me, okay?"

"I do trust you."

Angel moved down once more, kissing every possible place, wanting Collins to feel what he was feeling. And after Collins moaned again, Angel got the feeling he was well on his way to ecstasy. He went lower, and lower, using his teeth to pull Collins' boxers down all the way, and throwing them on the floor as well, right on top of Collins' discarded pants. Once they were finally off, Angel decided it was time to do some teasing. His fingertips danced over Collins in a feather light tease, and Collins groaned.

"Jesus, Angel."

Neither Collins nor Angel had ever done this before, and both boys were excited and a tad bit nervous.

Angel just giggled more, determined to make Collins feel pleasure. He wrapped his entire hand around Collins, and - only seconds later - he was hard from Angel's touch. Angel stroked and rubbed, and Collins fisted the bed sheets for some kind of support. His legs felt like Jell-O at that particular moment, but just when he thought he couldn't take anymore, Angel leaned down and dipped his tongue onto Collins' flesh, pressing a soft kiss to his groin, and then began to suck. Collins dug his fingernails into Angel's shoulders, and thrust his hips against Angel's mouth, moaning even louder than before.

Angel sucked even harder, and Collins felt himself losing control as Angel's teeth lightly grazed over him. Collins gave one final, strangled cry, and Angel swallowed the sweet saltiness that was, essentially, Collins.

Collins breathing was uneven, and it took a few moments for him to form coherent sentences. "Shit, Angel...That was incredible. Are you _sure_ you've never done that before?"

"Oh, I'm sure. You're my first." Angel grinned, and kissed him lightly on the lips.

Collins laughed. "I'm honored," he grinned and flipped Angel over so that he was on top and Angel was underneath him. "My turn."

Angel snickered and ran his hands down Collins' chest. Collins pulled Angel shirt off and started to kiss his way down, then -

_Riiing!_

Angel groaned and Collins rested his forehead on Angel's, sighing in frustration.

"Damn."

"Do you have to answer it, baby?" There it was again. _Baby_. Angel couldn't help but smile.

"Yeah...Could be something important," Angel said. "Not that this isn't."

Collins rolled off of Angel, and slid his pants and boxers back on while Angel went to answer the phone. He went downstairs and into the kitchen where he saw Angel, his back turned to him, giggling in Spanish on the phone to someone. Collins listened intently as he heard strings of Spanish, most of which he didn't understand.

Collins came up behind and wrapped his strong arms around Angel's slim frame, kissing the back of his neck.

Angel giggled, trying to push Collins away. "Si, Mimi! Adios!"

"Who was that?" Collins asked as Angel turned around to face him.

"Mimi! She's my best friend, remember? I told you about her," Angel said, and Collins nodded. "Well, she says her parents are being shitheads and she wants to transfer to our school! Anyways, she's coming to stay here tomorrow, so you can finally meet her."

Collins smiled genuinely at Angel. "I look forward to it," he said. "Now where were we?"

"Here." Angel captured Collins' lips in a gentle kiss and -

_Riiing!_

"I swear..." Angel muttered, and Collins laughed.

"Well, hey, Mark!"... "Yeah, he's here." ... "Sure, one sec."

Angel handed the phone over to Collins. "Maureen emergency."

Collins rolled his eyes. "What did she do now?"

"I was dumped."

"Ohhh, Maureen dumped you?"

"Yes. For a wannabe lawyer named Joanne."

Collins attempted to stifle a laugh, but he was unsuccessful.

"Oh, thank you, Collins. You're a lot of help."

"That's cute. You still love her, _despite_ the fact she dumped you for a _girl_."

"I do not!"

"You do too, Mark!"

"Whatever, Collins. I'm gonna hang up on you now."

"Good, 'cause I gotta go. I've got some...business to take care of."

"Okay, Collins, go have sex, then. I'll talk to you later."

"I'm not having - " he protested, but it was too late; Mark had already hung up. Collins rubbed his forehead, and closed his eyes briefly.

Angel smiled timidly up at Collins. "Everything okay, honey?"

"Yeah. Mark's just...needy."

Angel laughed. "Some business to take care of? I'm assuming you meant me, right?"

It was Collins' turn to laugh, and he pulled Angel closer, kissing him soundly. "Definitely." Collins leaned in for more when -

"Nombre de Dios. I'm going to disconnect the phone." Angel mumbled while Collins let out a groan.

"Hello?" ... "Yes, he's here."... "Sure. One moment, please."

"It's your mom." Angel mouthed, and Collins' eyes widened as he mumbled a word that sounded not unlike 'fuck' under his breath.

"Hey, ma." ... "Yes, I'm safe!" ... "No, I'm obviously _not_ at Mark's unless I'm having some out of body experience I don't know about." ... "Yeah, I'll be there soon." ... "Love you, too. Bye."

Angel stood open mouthed before him. "So?"

"She says I have to come home," Collins made a disgusted face, but then looked at Angel in all seriousness. "Angel..." he hesitated, trying to find the right words.

"Yeah?"

"I know this is asking a lot of you, but I think this is as good a time as any to come out to them. And, well... it would really mean a lot to me if you were there. I really want - _need_ - you there. Especially because you're a very big part of this."

Angel just stood and stared at Collins for a very long time. He wondered how he'd gotten so lucky. Back home, everyone had made fun of him for being who he was, but here he had his family, his friends, and most importantly - Collins. Though Collins hadn't said anything on the subject yet, Angel suspected Collins loved him.

And, truth be told, Angel loved him back.

Angel flung his arms around Collins' neck. "Of course I'll be there for you! This is a difficult thing to be doing, Collins. Trust me, I know. But I'll be by your side every step of the way."

Collins smiled warmly at Angel and gave him a sweet kiss. "Then let's go."

A/N: I just have to say that the smuttiness part of this chapter - actually the whole thing, really - wouldn't have been possible without MY Angel, **missxflawless**. Big, BIG virtual hugs and kisses to you, my very own Angelcake. ;)


	6. Chapter 6

Addictive Love

Summary: "I'd like to think the best of me is still hiding up my sleeve." - John Mayer, 'No Such Thing'

A/N: I felt I had to write this chapter this way. I know it's extremely difficult for teenagers to come out to their parents and most often, the parents won't accept them, so I commend those who ARE brave enough to do it. Lord knows I would never tell my parents, for they are VERY religious and Republican. Anyways, here's the new chappy. Enjoy. ;)

"I don't think I can do this, Angel." Collins muttered.

They were outside of Collins' house, and Collins was a wreck. He was sweating and shaking, and Angel thought he just might hyperventilate, he was so nervous.

Angel hugged Collins to him. "You'll feel a lot better once you get it off your chest."

Collins scoffed at Angel. "I highly doubt that. This is just going to complicate things further," he laughed ruefully. "I am glad you're here, though." he said softly.

"Me too," Angel replied. "When I came out to my parents, it was a nightmare. My mom - well, she was cool with it - but my dad flipped. I think it's one of the reasons he left."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. He was an asshole anyway," he said. "Come on, let's go inside."

Collins wiped his sweaty palms on his pants and Angel chuckled lightly at how cute Collins looked when he was stressed. "Breath, Collins."

Collins took one last deep breath, and laced his fingers with Angel's. They wlked up the front steps and Collins pushed open the front door.

"Tom? Is that you?"

As Collins' mom appeared in the doorway, Angel felt Collins drop his hand immediately. "Yeah, Ma, it's me," Collins said, and his mother shot him a puzzled, evidently surprised by this unexpected guest. "Um, this is Angel. He goes to my school. Angel, this is my mom."

Collins' mother smiled warmly at Angel and shook his hand. Collins scanned the room for his father, but he saw no sign of him anywhere. "Where's Dad?" Collins asked.

"Oh, he'll be down in a minute. He's just taking a quick shower."

"Um, Ma?"

"Yes?"

"When Dad comes down, I need to talk to the both of you. It's really important."

"Something happen at school? Tom, please don't tell you rewired or hacked into something again." Collins' mother said, and when Collins shook his head, his mother brightened. "Oh, you finally got a girlfriend, Tommy!"

She strode over to where he was standing, and tried to wrap her arms around him in a congratulatory hug, but Collins gently pushed her away.

"Erm, not exactly, Ma," he said. "Look, I'll tell you when Dad comes down, okay?"

As if on cue, Collins' father appeared in the living room where they were all standing. Angel struggled to look away from him - Collins bore a striking resemblance to his father. Same eyes, same nose, same mouth, same everything - with the exception, of course, of the black beanie Collins always wore, but his father didn't.

"Hello. Who's your friend, Tom?"

"Um, Angel... This is Angel, Dad." Collins' father smiled at Angel after Collins introduced him.

_Seems nice, anyway, _Angel thought_, But just wait. He'll soon turn._

"Now what is it you want to talk to us about? Something good, I hope."

Collins started to look anxious like he had before. "I think you and Ma should sit down," he leaned over and whispered into Angel's ear. "Take a seat because S.S. Daddy leaves _quite_ a wake."

"Um, look, Mom - Dad. I'm sick and tired of pretending. I don't have a girlfriend, nor will I ever. Sorry for dashing your hopes and all that, Ma, but it's actual reality. I'm really not interested in girls."

Collins' mother looked confused and his father clenched his jaw tight. "What exactly are you saying, son?" his father asked.

"I'm - Well, I'm gay, okay?" his words came out in a jumble, and he paused, reaching over and taking Angel's hand in his own. "Angel and I - we're dating. He's my boyfriend. That's why I brought him here."

Collins' mother still looked confused and was now staring at him open mouthed, and Collins' father's eyes flashed with anger and horror. "You and me upstairs. _Now_." he said threateningly.

Angel instantly stiffened at these words, and he felt his temper rising. What was his father going to do to him?

The minute they were upstairs, the yelling began. Most of it was inaudible, but Angel could occasionally hear an, "I don't care!" or a "This is who I am!" or even a "It's my life!".

Collins came down about ten minutes later and Angel could see he was _furious_, his eyes flashing with anger. He had a backpack slung over his shoulder, and grabbed Angel's arm and pulled him outside, despite his parents' protests about him staying put.

Collins was visibly livid. "God, what was I _thinking_? I should have known he'd do this. _Jesus_!"

"Collins..."

"Him and his fucking morals! He'd never accept a gay son! God forbid he look bad in front of those country club people!"

"Collins, calm down." Angel tried to offer him some comfort by placing his hand on Collins' shoulder, but Collins shrugged it off.

"No, Angel. _Don't_. Don't try and tell me everything's gonna be okay, because it's not," Collins was practically yelling at this point. Angel could only stand there and listen while he vented. Angel tried to be understanding, he really did, but it seemed as if Collins'anger was directed at him. Like it was _Angel's_ fault - he was angry at _Angel_. "I'll be at Roger's."

And that's when Collins stormed off, leaving Angel alone in the street, confused and gaping at him as he walked away.

A/N: Yeah, it's short, but I felt I had to leave off here. :D R&R, please!


	7. Chapter 7

Addictive Love

Summary: "I'd like to think the best of me is still hiding up my sleeve." - John Mayer, 'No Such Thing'

Collins wandered the streets later that night, trying his best to clear his head. He decided he wasn't going home, probably not ever. His eighteenth birthday was in a couple of weeks, and in the meantime he knew he could always stay at Mark's or Roger's. But at this point, he wasn't really sure of where he was going or what he was doing.

He knew he had screwed up - badly - with Angel. He figured Angel would never speak to him again, after the way Collins had treated him. He honestly hadn't been mad at Angel; he knew Angel was just trying to help him. Frustration, hurt, anger - they'd been building up inside of him, and coming out to his parents and having them not accept him was his breaking point. He had exploded, and Angel had been the one he really hurt. He had to apologize, but he didn't know how, and he thought that maybe even if he did apologize, Angel wouldn't accept it.

He crossed the street to a familiar park and sat down on a bench, kicking at a dirt clod below his feet. He leaned his head back, and closed his eyes, enjoying the nice weather of a crappy night. Only seconds later, a voice interrupted his thoughts and brought him back to reality.

"Hey, are you the famous Collins?"

Collins opened his eyes and saw a young girl about his age standing before him. She had very unruly curly hair, big brown eyes and dark skin - even darker than Angel's. She, too, had a backpack slung over her shoulder. Collins studied her face...She looked oddly familiar.

"Uh, yeah. Who are you?"

She smiled at him. "They call me Mimi." she said in a singsong voice.

Collins' eyes widened. "Angel's best friend."

"That's me."

"Angel said you were coming tomorrow."

"Oh, I was, but I couldn't stand in that hell hole place we call home. So I came early," Mimi sat down next to him. "So what are you doing outside?"

Collins blushed. "I - I had a fight with Angel," he stuttered. "Well, not really. It was just me yelling at him, and then I just took off."

Mimi shrugged. "The price you pay for coming out to your parents. It sucks."

"How did you know?"

Mimi patted Collins' backpack. "You wouldn't have all your stuff in a backpack if they did accept you. I figured you ran away from home," she replied. "Let me guess: You yelled at Angel because you were mad at yourself and your parents, but not at him, but he was the only one there, so you yelled at him?"

"You're very insightful, Mimi. How'd you figure that one out?"

Mimi laughed. "Angel did the exact same thing."

Collins blanched. "What? I can't imagine Angel yelling - at anyone."

"Oh, believe it. I came with him when he came out to his parents - you know, moral support or whatever - and his mom was cool with it, but his dad was pissed. He ran away too, to my house, but he just stood there venting - at me - and I just had to listen."

"Were you mad?"

"Of course I was _mad_. But Angel's my best friend. I know how hard it is to come out to your parents, and I knew Angel wasn't mad at _me_. I forgave him."

"You think he'll forgive me?"

Mimi laughed. "Of course. He loves you."

Collins froze, not knowing what exactly to say. Angel _loved_ him? Had he told Mimi that, or was it just Mimi's assumption? Angel hadn't even said anything about love, so Collins was a little skeptical but at the same time he was happy.

"I don't think he does. He hasn't even said - "

"I know he hasn't. But he does, Collins. We talk a lot, and he told me you have some...reservations, I guess, about love. You're afraid of it, aren't you?"

"Yeah." he whispered.

"Well, the way Angel talks about you... I have yet to see the two of you together, but I can already tell. The way _you_ talk about _him_, and I can see it in your eyes. You should tell him."

"Well, I really think he's too mad to listen. And besides, it's only been a week, and who knows what he'd say back? I'd need flowers _and_ candy _and _jewelry just to be able to get near him."

Mimi snickered. "No, Angel's not one for romantic cliches," she said. "But I really think you should at least try. It can't hurt."

"You're right. I don't want to lose him," Collins said softly. "Will you come with me?"

"Sure."

"How did you know it was me sitting here?"

"Angel has a picture of you that she sent to me. I recognized you and I figured I should come over and see if you were good enough for Angel."

Collins laughed. "And am I?"

"The yelling aside, yeah, you are. Just remember one thing: Angel's my best friend. You break his heart, I'll break your face."

Collins threw up his hands in surrender. "Wow, okay. No need to get violent," he chuckled. "I'd never hurt Angel."

Mimi laughed. "I know. Come on, let's go."

Collins had snuck back into his house to get the rest of his stuff, and some things for a little surprise he had for Angel. He thanked God his parents were incredibly heavy sleepers.

Once they were back outside, Mimi suggested they find Angel. "Where do you think he is?" Collins asked.

"There is a place he goes every time he's mad or whatever. We should try there first."

"Okay."

Mimi led him back to the town where she and Angel had grown up. Collins felt odd being in a place that was such a big part of Angel, a part he never knew.

"There," Mimi pointed to a tree house behind Angel's old house. "Let me go first."

"Okay." he said, as he watched Mimi climb up the ladder and disappear into the tree house. Seconds later he heard squeals of joy as the best friends were reunited, and then giggling, and talking... and then Mimi returned.

"I'm going to go to Angel's house and you leave you two alone, okay?" Mimi said, pushing him forward slightly. "Go ahead."

He gulped, and started to climb the ladder. He was inside, flat on his stomach. "Oof." he stated, and then he noticed Angel, who was unsmiling, but surprised to see him.

"Hey." Collins said softly, gazing at Angel, trying to apologize with his eyes.

"Hey," Angel replied, with a tad bit of iciness in his voice. "What are you doing here, Collins?"

"Mimi didn't tell you?"

"No," Angel said. "And how do you know Mimi all of the sudden?"

"We met earlier when I was doing some thinking. She convinced me to come find you."

Angel glared at him. "Oh, so now you have to be _forced_ to come and see me?"

"No - Angel, it isn't like that. I - I felt really guilty, and I didn't think you'd want to see me anyways."

"To be honest with you, I really don't."

"Could you just hear me out? Please?"

Angel stared at Collins for a long time, debating, and then said: "Fine."

"I wasn't mad at you, I swear. I was mad at my parents, for being so judgemental and not being able to accept their son for who he is. I was mad at myself for dragging you along into this mess, and then yelling at you when you weren't doing anything wrong, and just trying to help. I don't want to lose you - in fact, that's the last thing on Earth I'd _ever_ want. I came here to apologize in the hope that you'd forgive me, but I can see now that you hate me. But I'm sorry, Angel. I really am." Collins finished, and then got up to go when Angel tugged on his arm and pulled him back down.

"I don't hate you. I could never hate you. And I do forgive you." Angel said, and then leaned in and gave him a sweet kiss.

"Come on. I've got a surprise for you." Collins said, and took Angel's hand. Collins climbed down the ladder first and then waited for Angel, who fell into his arms, giggling like mad.

"Where are we going?" Angel asked.

"Just here." Collins reached into his large backpack and pulled out a large blanket and smoothed it out onto the grass. He pulled out several pillows and another blanket, then laid down and gestured for Angel to do the same. Angel snuggled up to Collins, resting his head on Collins' chest and Collins pulled the blanket over them for warmth.

They lay, side by side in the dark, staring at the stars above them, and every time Angel glanced at him, Collins looked utterly lost in thought. Angel was too tired to really say anything important or profound about the situation, but too awake and alert to sleep, and so they lay, Angel listening to his breathing, and Collins deep in thought.

Angel was just about to say something when Collins turned towards her.

He hesitated for a moment, then shifted closer, and Angel felt Collins' breath, warm on his ear.

For a second, Angel thought Collins was going to kiss him, but instead, he took a quick breath, and then whispered the words, "I love you." right in Angel's ear, but so quietly that Angel wasn't sure he'd said anything at all.

Then he rolled away again, folding his arms neatly across his chest as if he'd said something utterly wrong.

"What?" Angel said, his voice a little higher in pitch than usual.

He couldn't possibly have –

"You heard," Collins said, his voice lilted with amusement. "Don't make me say it again."

"Why not?"Angel said, echoing Collins' amusement, even though his heart was thundering.

"Because I'll blush." he said, intently studying the sky

Angel propped himself up on one elbow and raised his hand to his mouth to contain a giggle, although he wasn't sure whether it pertained more to the idea of Collins blushing or to the nervous excitement he was experiencing from what Collins had just said.

Collins continued staring at the sky, his fingers laced together on his chest, refusing to meet Angel's eye, even as his cheek twitched, giving away that he was fighting a smile.

"I'd appreciate it if you didn't make a big thing of it." Collins said.

"Don't make a – "

Angel laughed, still not quite able to believe, regardless of how many hints and clues there might have been in words and actions, what he'd said, and stammered his way through some kind of incoherent protest about this being exactly the kind of thing that people tended to want to make a big thing of.

Collins laughed lightly, his eyes still fixed on a spot on the sky, and Angel's fingers tightened on his mouth as he wondered what to do.

But only one thing seemed even appropriate, and so he pressed his lips tightly together for a moment, and then shifted towards Collins and whispered, "I love you too." right in his ear, so close that Collins could feel Angel's breath tickling his skin.

He turned his head and met her eye. "Really?" he said, and Angel laughed at the surprise in his voice, and nodded. Collins' eyes twinkled, and Angel bit his lip, unable to contain the smile pulling on it. "Oh," Collins said.

Collins looked away for a second and snickered, and then shifted his gaze back to Angel's. Angel inched forward a little and so did Collins, and when their lips met, Angel thought it was the softest, most exquisite kiss they'd ever shared.

Collins eased himself on top of Angel and stroked Angel's cheek. There was a tad bit of uncertainty in Collins' eyes. "You don't have to say it just because I – "

"I'm not," Angel said quietly, his voice catching a little in his throat. Angel met his gaze and smiled. "I've wanted to say it for a while. I just didn't want to scare you off."

"Oh," he said and smiled. "I wanted to say it for a long time, too."

"Why didn't you?"

"Just – " Collins stopped and took a breath. "Like you said," he said. "I didn't want to scare you off."

"Oh," Angel said, his voice low and teasing as he moved a little to cover Collins'neck in kisses. "So _now_ you want to make a big thing of it?"

"Well, I wouldn't say a big thing," Collins said, his eyebrows raised. "but _something_."

"I love you, Collins." Angel said softly. "And I'm ready to show you just how much."

Collins' eyes widened. "Really?"

"Yes. But here's the thing," Angel said. "I know it's hideously traditional and all that jazz, but I do still want to wait until senior prom."

Collins laughed. "That _is_ hideously traditional, but I do agree with you. I love you, Angel, and I want this to be the best night of our lives, you know? I want romance, passion, fire, heat, love."

"Then that's what we'll have."

A/N: Thank you **missxflawless** for one of the best lines EVER in here. Oh, and there's gonna be some angst next chapter, so be prepared. SOMEBODY dies. ;)


	8. Chapter 8

Addictive Love

Summary: "I'd like to think the best of me is still hiding up my sleeve." - John Mayer, 'No Such Thing'

"Angelcake..." Collins whispered into Angel's ear. Angel was sound asleep on the blanket, and Collins was attempting to wake him up.

Angel stirred slightly, but didn't wake even when Collins kissed his neck. Collins ran his fingertips over Angel's back and stomach. He knew how ticklish Angel was.

"Collins..." Angel groaned, opening his eyes. "You know I'm - "

Collins cut Angel off by turning his little wake up call into a full blown tickle attack.

"Collins - no! Stop!" Angel giggled uncontrollably.

"Say I'm the cutest anarchist you've ever met!"

"You're the - cutest - anarchist - I've ever - met!" Angel choked out.

"Say I'm the smartest anarchist you've ever met!"

"You're the - smartest - anarchist - I've ever - met!" Angel squealed, writing against Collins' grip.

"Say you love me." Collins whispered into Angel's ear, loosening his hold on Angel only a tad bit.

"I love you." Angel giggled.

"I love you too."

"Can I ask you something, Collins?"

Collins leaned down and brushed his lips over Angel's. "Of course."

"Do you - do you think I'd look good in a skirt?" Angel hesitated, searching Collins' face for some sort of reaction. "And other girl clothes?"

Collins was surprised and excited at the same time. "I think..." Collins began, searching for the right words. "I think you'd look absolutely beautiful, but maybe I'm biased because I _always_ think you look beautiful."

"That's incredibly sweet," Angel said and pulled Collins to him, pressing a kiss to his lips. "Hey, where are you going to live? You're not going back home, are you?"

Collins shook his head. "If my parents can't accept me, no. I was thinking..." he grinned at Angel. "I'm turning eighteen soon, and so are you, and I think we should get a place together."

"Thomas B. Collins, are you asking me to move in with you?"

"Yes and no," he replied. "Mimi, Mark, Roger, Maureen... they're turning eighteen too. I think if we _all_ lived together, it'd be twice as much fun," he continued and then leaned down and whispered in Angel's ear, "But we could always have our _own_ bedroom."

Angel giggled. "Of course. And I think it's a great idea. All the people I love under one roof. Especially you, Sir Tommykins."

Collins furrowed his brow. "Sir Tommykins? What kind of nickname is that?"

"A cute one - like you."

"Mmmhmm." Collins leaned down and gave Angel a fierce kiss on the lips, and then moved down his jaw, and dipped his tongue onto Angel's collarbone.

"EW! Get a room!" came a voice.

Collins looked over his shoulder to see Mimi. "Hey, what're you doing here, Meems?"

"Well, I was at Angel's house and this guy named Roger came over and said he was looking for you because he had something important to tell you."

Mimi was grinning, and Collins found this suspicious. Angel must've noticed it too, because he groaned and said, "Oh, no, chica. _Not_ Roger."

"What?!" Mimi and Collins said in unison.

"Well, Mimi has a tendency of getting involved with guys and then _breaking their hearts_. And Roger is Collins' best friend, Mimi!"

"What?" Mimi asked, shrugging. "That boy is mighty fine. And I'll be going to your school soon, so I figure I could always - "

"Yeah, but Roger has girlfriend. Sorry to disappoint you," Collins said, and then turned to Angel. "Look, I'd better go and see what Roger needs. He's very angsty, you know."

"Yeah, he did look kind of depressed when I met him." Mimi said.

"Oh, no, he always looks like that," Collins replied. "Are you two coming?"

"Yes." Mimi and Angel said.

* * *

When they arrived at Angel's house hours later, Roger was sitting on the front stoop looking distraught. His eyes were bloodshot and it looked as if he'd been crying. He was holding a bloodstained letter in his left hand.

"Roger! What's going on?" Collins asked worriedly.

"April! She - she - " Roger stammered, trying to get the words out, but he seemed unable to. He simply fell into Collins' arms, crying onto his shoulder. Mimi and Angel stood there watching as the whole thing unraveled.

"Roger, what happened?" Collins asked softly, pulling Roger away from him so he could look at his face.

"April... she slit her wrists. She's dead." Roger said so quietly that Collins could barely hear him. "I went to her house today to see her and her parents weren't there and...and her front door was wide open so I went inside to make sure everything was okay, but when I went into the bathroom, it - the tub was full of bloody water and she was just... there. Dead. And she left me this." He handed the letter over to Collins, and Collins began to read it.

_Roger,_

_I've always loved you, but this is too much to handle. We have AIDS._

_Love,_

_April_

Collins, Mimi and Angel all gasped. Collins thought the letter was rather cold, and he wondered how April had managed to get AIDS, but then he realized it must've been one of the many times she had used heroin. The needles... and now his best friend could die from this.

"Roger... I'm so sorry, man. We'll - we'll figure something out."Collins said, placing a hand on Roger's shoulder and easing his back down onto the steps. Roger could only sit there, staring off, his eyes wide.

"She - she _lied_ to me, Collins."

"What do you mean?"

"I told her to get tested, you know - just in case - and she said she did and that she was negative. That was yesterday. And now I'm..." he trailed off.

"Roger..." Mimi spoke up timidly. "I know this won't make things better for you, but I've got AIDS too."

Collins and Roger stared at Mimi, opened mouthed. "What?" they both said.

"Yeah... I made the mistake of sleeping around, and the one time I didn't use something, I got it," Mimi said. "But Roger... You can lead a normal life. Just take the pills and you're good to go."

Roger brightened a little at this. "You're right. This doesn't have to changes things completely. I just have to be really careful from now on."

"Well, if you slept with me, you wouldn't have to worry about - OW!" Mimi began, but Angel elbowed her in the ribs.

"_Not helping_." Angel seethed.

"Oh, Collins, your mom called earlier." Roger said.

"Yeah, what'd she say? Did she want me to come home?"

"No...it was about your dad." Roger said, and his eyes flashed with worry.

"What about him?"

"He had a heart attack."

A/N: More death in the next chapter. But I'm pretty sure you all know who it is already. Reviews, please!


	9. Chapter 9

Addictive Love

Summary: "I'd like to think the best of me is still hiding up my sleeve." - John Mayer, 'No Such Thing'

Collins threw open the emergency room doors, and shouted at the top of his lungs, "WHERE'S MY FATHER?"

His eyes scanned the waiting room and then finally settled on his mother - her bloodshot, sleep deprived eyes, the tears running down her face, and the silent nod - and he just knew.

"Oh, Mom," he whispered, rushing to her side, and wrapped his arms around her. "I'm sorry...for everything. I'm so sorry."

"No, Tom, it's not y-your fault," his mother sobbed. She glanced behind Collins and saw three other figures, and then turned back to her son. "Would you like to see him? They haven't moved him yet."

Collins nodded, and turned to his friends. He smiled at Mimi and Roger, and then looked at Angel. Angel could see the pain in his eyes and he wanted nothing more than to take it all away, to trade places with Collins. Collins ran a hand down Angel's arm, smiling faintly and then disappeared into his father's room.

It was cold. That's what Collins hated about hospitals - the icy temperature - and not to mention there was death around every corner.

He just stood there in the doorway, looking at his father. He couldn't move and nor did he want to, because he thought if he got any closer, the death of his father really would be real. And then he realized his father _was_ gone. Collins had never gotten the chance to say to him all the things he had wanted to - that he loved him, that he was sorry, and that he forgave his father for everything. He didn't get the chance to say goodbye and that hurt even more.

He mustered up the courage to slowly walk over to his father's bed. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw his mother close the door, leaving Collins and his father alone. He reached out cautiously and held his father's hand. It was still warm.

"Hey, Dad," he began, his voice barely a whisper. "I'm not really sure what to say here... I'm not good with death. But... even though I know I wasn't the son you wanted me to be, I still loved you, despite everything. And I am sorry for disappointing you. All I wanted was for you to accept me for who I am, and you couldn't even do that." Collins choked out. His tears were running freely down his face. "I love you... and I miss you. And I'm sorry. I hope you're happy, wherever you are."

Collins sat there for a long time, just staring at his father, thinking about all the good and bad memories. Then, he stood up, and leaned over the bed and kissed his father tenderly on the cheek. "Goodbye, Dad." he whispered.

Once he was back outside, he was greeted by Angel, who wrapped his arms around Collins in a tight hug. "Your mom said she thinks you should go home and be alone. To mull things over," Angel said softly. "Roger and Mimi left, and I should go too. You need time alone." Angel pulled away, and started to walk away.

Collins glanced up, and gently pulled Angel back to him. "I - I need you right now. Please. Come home with me."

Angel smiled softly at him. "Of course. I'll always be here for you."

* * *

Collins opened the door, and walked in slowly, Angel following behind him. Collins seemed to be in a trance as he slumped down onto the couch. He seemed to be unable to speak and he was staring off into space.

"I think I just have to sit here and not move," he began quietly. "Because if I do, who knows what else will come along and rip my life apart."

Angel moved cautiously and sat down next to Collins. "You're right. Let's not move. It's too big a risk."

"I just don't know what I'm supposed to do."

"Why do anything?"

Collins looked at Angel. "Well, eventually, I'm gonna have to get up," he said. "The thing is, everyone keeps telling me he's dead, and I don't know what the hell that means. I mean, I can't even - when I think of the idea of never being able to see him again...it hurts so much."

Angel smiled softly at Collins as he spoke again. "And I was just starting to get all...happy."

Angel reached out and rubbed Collins' neck, gazing at him. "I wouldn't let this destroy that. You hold on to what's good, what makes you happy."

Collins stared at Angel. "You make me happy." he said, his voice barely a whisper.

"I do?"

"Yeah." Collins nodded.

Collins gave Angel a feeble smile. "Would it be okay with you if we still just...sit here for awhile?"

"As long as you want."

And so they sat, side by side, hands clasped tightly together and grateful that they still had each other in the midst of death.


	10. Chapter 10

Addictive Love

Summary: "I'd like to think the best of me is still hiding up my sleeve." - John Mayer, 'No Such Thing'

Collins had decided that it was time to tell Angel that this was probably the last time they'd _ever_ see each other again. He felt miserable, like he was losing a piece of himself...and in more ways, than one, he was. Angel was his other half, the person who meant everything to him. To be giving such a thing up was the hardest thing he'd ever have to do. But he knew he had to do it.

Or so he told himself.

He knocked softly on Angel's bedroom door, realizing now that Angel was probably asleep. It was still early in the morning, but this was something he had to get off his chest before he left for good.

"Come in," came Angel's soft, sleepy voice. The moment Angel saw Collins, his face lit up and he grinned. "Hi, honey. How are you?"

Collins sat down on the end of the bed. "I'm okay, I guess. But we need to talk."

Angel's grin disappeared immediately. "When someone says that, it always means something bad."

"Yeah, that's true." Collins held Angel's gaze, trying his hardest not to look away. How could he hurt someone he loved so much? How could he look into those beautiful, love filled eyes and say what he was about to say?

"What's going on?"

Collins took a deep breath and said quietly, "I'm leaving."

Angel's face clouded with confusion. "What do you mean?"

"My mom - she's leaving town. Actually, leaving the state, and I said I'd go with her. She says she can't stay here with all the memories."

Angel sat up quickly in bed. "So... wait. You're just going to take off? Leave everyone behind - your friends, your school, _me_?"

"She _needs_ me, Angel. She's got no one but me now."

"_I _need you! Did you ever think about that?"

"Of course I did, but - "

"No, Collins. Don't do this to me. Please," Tears were welling up in Angel's eyes now, and Collins reached out to wipe them away, but Angel pushed his hand away. "No, don't. I just have one question before you go."

"What is it?"

"Are we breaking up? Is this the end of 'AngelCollins'?"

Collins looked down, finally unable to meet Angel's eyes. "I... don't know. I'll be halfway across the country, Angel. There's a chance we'll never see each other again."

"That's all I needed to know." Angel choked out, and turned his face away from Collins.

Collins knew that there was nothing left to say now. All that was left was the goodbye. He leaned down and planted a soft kiss on Angel's cheek. "I love you... forever and ever," he whispered. "But you deserve better than me. And now it's my time to walk away."

He walked over to the door, his hand poised on the doorknob. A thought had occurred to him. Wasn't this what Roger had warned him about? Telling Angel that he deserved better and then walking away, breaking not only Angel's heart, but his own too? It had been Roger's advice, and now he was breaking his promise to never, ever do that...but there was no going back. He told himself it was for the best and he believed it, even though it wasn't true.

With one last, loving look at Angel, Collins whispered the words, "Goodbye, love." and walked out of Angel's life forever.

A/N: Don't worry... as my JROTC Sgt. says: 'Bad news is like a fine wine - it gets better with age.'


	11. Chapter 11

Addictive Love

Summary: "I'd like to think the best of me is still hiding up my sleeve." - John Mayer, 'No Such Thing'

Angel was distraught. It had been almost three months since Collins' departure, and every day was a constant struggle for Angel without him. Angel loved him so much, and yet... after everything that had happened, Angel _did _still love him. He knew he always would, even if he shouldn't. But he was _furious_ at Collins. Collins had broken his heart and had just taken off, and Angel knew that if he ever saw Collins again, he'd be in no position to forgive him. He'd been hurt before, and he thought Collins was different. He didn't think Collins would ever hurt him in a million years, but that's where he's been wrong. Life wouldn't be the same without Collins but eventually he'd move on, or at least he hoped he'd be able to.

A soft knock came at the door and Angel could see Mimi standing in the doorway. "Angel, chica? I came to see how you were doing."

"I'm fine." Angel replied, his voice low and quiet.

"You haven't eaten or slept in God knows how long. You never leave the house except for school. And don't think I can't see what's on your wrists. You are _not_ fine."

"Well, what do you expect, Mimi? For me to be happy, jumping for joy? Newsflash, Meems - it's not going to happen. Not without him."

Mimi shook her head sadly and sat down next to Angel, pulling him into a gentle embrace. "Ang, let it go. Move on...he's gone for good. He's not coming back." Mimi whispered.

"I know, but I can't just forget. I love him too much to do that." Angel sobbed into Mimi's shoulder.

"Oh, honey, he's not worth it."

"He didn't even tell me where he was _going_. For all I know, he could be in Argentina."

"He didn't tell anyone. He just took off," Mimi replied, and gently eased Angel away, looking him straight in the eye. "You know..."

Angel narrowed his eyes. "Wait... I know that look! What are you planning?"

"Prom is in two weeks. You can get all dressed up and go."

Angel scoffed. "Yeah, right. I don't even have a date, and prom really isn't my thing, so - "

"Mark's going stag. You can go stag together." Mimi said excitedly.

A teeny smile played on Angel's lips - the first hint of any smile in a long time. "_Fine_, but on one condition."

Mimi grinned. "Yeah, what?"

"I'm going in _drag_."

A/N: Yes, I know it's VERY short, but it's mainly just a filler chapter 'till the next one. Next chapter... BIG things will happen. If you remember, a couple chapters back, Collins promised Angel something for prom. So, think about that. :D


	12. Chapter 12

Addictive Love

Summary: I'd like to think the best of me is still hiding up my sleeve. [John Mayer, 'No Such Thing' AngelCollins High School Fic. AU.

A/N: I promised this chapter a LONG time ago to RJ, but of course my actual life intervened. I haven't had much time to write fanfiction seeing as how I'm _trying_ to get ready for a drill competition for November. (You have _no idea _how hard it is to work out routines of spinning 13 lb. rifles, especially when people get hit in the eye with the rifle by someone else. It's freaking crazy.) But, on a lighter note, here's the chapter, so enjoy. :D

Tonight was finally prom night and Angel was nervous about everything. He was nervous about the way he dressed, he was nervous about how the night would go, he was nervous about making a fool out of himself - goddammit, he was nervous!

He couldn't stop thinking about Collins and how tonight was supposed to be _their_ night. But of course it couldn't be. Collins was out of Angel's - and not to mention everyone else's - life. Angel was grateful to have everyone else along with him, though. He figured that even without Collins, the night was going to be the best time of their lives.

As they entered the room where the music was playing, where everybody was dancing, Angel could feel that something was different. Well, of course it was different seeing as how everyone looked so glammed up, but there was this feeling in his stomach that he couldn't shake off.

He stood there with his hands in his pockets of his tux, right on the outskirts of the dance floor, but he couldn't be seen by Angel. Everyone was occupied by their dates and the dancing and the partying - he would've gone all night unnoticed if he hadn't moved. And when he did finally move, he saw Angel. Despite the gorgeous dress and everything that went along with it, he knew it was Angel.

And at that moment in time, he knew he had never seen _anything_ more beautiful in his entire life. It was Angel - his _girl_. He had to talk to _her_, hold _her_, love _her_. So he did just that.

He strode across the dance floor, pushing past the partying teenagers, and made his way to where Angel stood dancing with Roger, her back turned away from him. He could hear her melodic voice laughing at something Roger must've said and it made him smile - oh, how he missed that laugh. He missed _everything_ about her.

His next move was a bold one. "May I cut in?"

They stopped laughing, and Angel instantly recognized the voice. _That_ voice. _His_ voice. She slowly turned around, and their eyes met.

And there he was. He was back, and even though months had gone by, not a single thing about him had changed. He was still the same old Collins. The same old warm brown eyes, the same old wide smile, and the same old love she had missed for what seemed like an eternity.

"Yeah, of course." Roger's reply brought them both back to reality.

Angel looked at Roger with wide, pleading eyes. "Roger, no - " Too late. In a flash, he was gone, off to find Mimi. And so Angel and Collins were alone for the first time in such a long time.

Collins gently placed his hand on her waist, and pulled her closer to him. He had longed for that warmth for so long, and now he had it. He had his Angel back.

"What are you doing here, Collins?" Angel asked in a hostile tone.

Collins was taken aback. He thought Angel would've been overjoyed to see him... but he was wrong. "I came here to see you. I'm back - for good," he said. "I came back because I promised you that on prom night, we'd - "

"So you came here for a booty call?!"

"I came back because I missed you."

"Yeah, well, I didn't miss you." Angel replied.

A look of hurt could be seen on Collins' face. "Really?"

"I missed the person I thought you were. But that guy - that guy left when you did."

"And now I'm back."

"Maybe... but if you came here to apologize and win me back - " Angel took a deep breath, a wiped away a lone tear from her eye. " - I'm not so sure that's going to work."

"Angel, I love you. I'm fighting like hell for you, and I don't plan on giving up. All I want is for me and you to be the way we used to be. Because when we met, the angels whispered 'perfect'."

Angel promised herself she wouldn't do this. She wouldn't forgive him. She would forget about him, move on, live her life. But she couldn't. She loved him too much to do that.

"I love you, too. And that's exactly what I want," she leaned closer and brushed her lips over his for a brief moment. "Come home with me."

A/N: **WARNING**: Lots of smut next chapter. :D


	13. Chapter 13

**SMUT! BE WARNED! This was possibly THE HARDEST thing I've ever had to write, but I did it for you all. ;)**

**By the way, I've been real into researching conspiracy theories lately, and I found out some VERY interesting ones about AIDS... They're kind of scary. :(**

**But anyways, this story will be wrapping up soon, and so there will only be a few more chapters. And I'm not starting anything new (although I've got a few ideas) until this story is completely finished. Enjoy!**

"It's been months since I've walked through _these_ doors." Collins laughed as he closed the door behind him and Angel.

"That's what happens when you leave for several months." Angel replied.

"Ang, you're not still mad about that are you?" Collins wrapped his arms around Angel's body, pulled Angel close to him, and whispered softly in her ear. "Because I told you - I'm not going anywhere again."

Angel grabbed hold of his lapels, and kissed him soundly. "No, I'm not, because I love you too much to stay mad at you. But I swear to you Collins, if you even so much as think about leaving again, I'll -"

"Sh, no threats on my life right now," Collins said, his fingers poised on Angel's lips. "Let's just get some sleep. We've had a long night."

Angel nodded, mustering a small smile."Okay." This was _so_ like Collins - he had promised Angel a very large...something when he came home, and now he was backing out, but that really was Collins. Always gun shy when it came to the intimate part of their relationship. It was something Angel never understood... and maybe Collins didn't either. Maybe he was just nervous or didn't want to hurt Angel. But Angel realized that Collins needed a little push in order to get things started, and Angel knew exactly what to do.

Collins slipped off his tux jacket, pants and dress shirt, leaving him in nothing but thin boxers and a white undershirt. He pulled back the covers, climbed in and watched as Angel echoed his previous movements, removing everything but a pair of shorts.

"Angel?" Collins furrowed his brow and looked at Angel quizically.

"You said I could sleep with you." she said quietly.

"Yes, of course. It's just that I thought you wanted to take things slow."

"Oh, I will." Angel promised, grinning as she crawled onto the bed and straddled Collins. Collins eyes grew wider with expectation and love and desire. He forgot everything but the sensations flooding over him. At Angel's first touch, his every nerve burst into flame and he quivered in her arms. When Angel's lips descended brutally on him, he did not flinch, but returned the kiss with equal hunger. Collins moaned low in the back of his throat, feeling that familiar tingly sensation in his groin.

He deepened the kiss, pausing only briefly to let Angel slip his shirt off over his head. Angel's lips parted and she gasped as Collins probed deeper. Her body arched against Collins' as his hands roamed over her body. He pulled even closer, chest crushing against chest. Tongues still dueling, Collins flipped Angel over so that he was now on top. He slid his hands over Angel's ribs, then moved back upward to pinch his nipples, ravaging his mouth while pressing every inch of himself yet closer. They could feel each other's hardness through the thin fabric of their boxers. Angel found she could no longer breathe.

"You're so beautiful," Collins breathed. He paused, lifted his head and gazed deep into Angel's eyes. "I want you to know that I love you, more than anything. I just wanted you to know before... before we make love."

"You make me happy, like no one else ever could," Angel choked out as a lone tear slipped down her cheek. Collins wiped it gently away with his thumb, smiling at Angel's words. "And I love you, too."

Collins brushed his lips softly across Angel's, and hooked a finger in the elatic of her boxers, slowly easing then down. He drew in a sharp breath at the sight of Angel's erection, and then - with barely a moment's hesitation - he lowered his lips, sucking gently. He snaked one of his hands up, stroking the inside of Angel's thigh. Angel shivered, closing her eyes, almost overwhelmed by the feeling of Collins' lips on her. She threaded her fingers in his short hair, panting hard.

"Collins." Angel gasped. One second Collins' touches were soft and light, and then they become much more. He ran his tongue along Angel's shaft, and then ever so slightly, let his teeth scrape against Angel. Angel felt as if she were about to explode. "Collins, I think I'm about to -"

"Roll over, baby," Collins commanded, and he gently turned Angel's body over. He leaned over and opened the bedside dresser's drawer where he knew Angel kept everything they'd need and pulled out two things - the lube and the condom.

He carefully prepared himself for the proceedings and then settled himself between Angel's legs, sliding in one finger, then another to prepare Angel for him. He didn't want to start anything until he was completely sure Angel was ready for this. "I don't want to do anything unless you're sure. If you don't want to do this, you can say no, Angel. I'm not going to force you to do anything you're not ready for."

Angel just stared at him with such wonder for a few moments. She wondered how she'd gotten so lucky, and she stammered, trying to find the exact words to sum up how she felt and what she wanted from him. "Make love to me, Thomas."

And so he did. As gently as he possibly could, he cautiously pushed into Angel, setting a slow and steady rhythm at first. He caressed every part of Angel's body as he continued, and she placed kisses over every inch of him she could reach. With every thrust, he matched them with his strokes of Angel. Angel felt ultimate love at Collins' tentativeness and care - not too rough, just a gentle permeation, rather than a penetration. His love for her in that moment pushed Angel over the edge and she exploded into his hand, crying out his name. He too felt that glorious love and with one last thrust, he came inside of Angel. He pulled out slowly and collapsed beside her.

"That - that was incredible, Angelcake." Collins whispered, reveling in the significance of what they had just done.

Angel grinned. "Yes, yes, it was," She snuggled closer to Collins, resting her head on his shoulder as she felt his arms wrap around her protectively. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course." he replied, placing a light kiss on her forehead.

"What's going to happen to us after graduation? I mean, you've got plans, I've got plans... but what exactly does that mean for _us_?" She swallowed hard, anticipating his answer. No way in hell did she want their relationship to end, but she knew that there was a possibility...

"What does that mean? I want to be with you... forever. I can't imagine us splitting up, going to different places. We'll just... I don't know, we'll figure something out. But we'll be together and that's all that matters, Ang. Because we love each other."

Angel decided this was not the time to worry, not after everything that happened just now. She closed her eyes, and fell asleep to the sound of Collins' deep breathing, her heart content for now.

**I don't know... what do you think? My attempts to write smut are not very good, but hey, I'm still practically just a kid. ;)**

**And who the**_** hell **_**is Squeaky Fromme? My gay best friend made a joke about it, and I had no idea what the hell he was talking about. Enlighten me someone. :D**


	14. Chapter 14

**Fun little fact: Kassie (missxflawless) wrote in a story that Collins has three brothers and their names are Jack Daniel, Morgan and Mike (Jack Daniel's, Captain Morgan and Mike's Hard Lemonade) and I just think that is like, the most brilliant thing ever. I'm seriously considering naming my kids after alcoholic drinks. ;)**

Angel, Mimi, Roger, Mark and Maureen were all gathered in Angel's room discussing last night's events the afternoon after. Each of them could see the afterglow that was presently radiating from Angel, and instead of prom, the only thing they wanted to talk about was Angel's monumental escapade the night before.

"So how was he?" Mimi leaned forward, as if she was listening to a very interesting, enrapturing story.

"Please, Mimi, as if I would ever even - you know, he was _great_."

"Really? I always thought Collins would just - "

"Don't even say what I think you're about to say." Angel laughed. "I mean, I still can't believe it. It was like sleeping with a Greek God. Oh my God, the size of his - "

"Whoa! Straight people present," Roger grimaced, pointing to himself and Mark and Mimi. "And I'd sure as hell would like _not_ to know all the details of my best friend's sexual organs, thank you."

"You going to see this _Greek God _again for another booty call?" Maureen giggled.

"Yes, actually, I am. We have plans later."

"Yeah, if you have enough stamina left." Roger grinned.

"I do." Angel grinned back. "No, actually, he wants to 'talk'."

"Uh oh, that's never good." Mark stated.

"I don't know. I guess it's just stuff about graduation which is only _one week _awayand where that leaves us. I tried to talk to him about it after... you know, but he clammed up."

"Well, duh. He's scared he's going to lose you. He got accepted to NYU and - " Mimi started, but Angel inhaled sharply and looked at her with widened eyes.

"He did?" Angel breathed. "He never told me that."

"I thought you _knew_." Mimi gave an exasperated and ran her hand through her curly, unruly hair. "See, this is what I'm talking about. You all come to me with your problems and your secrets and good news or whatever, and no one else knows about them, so then you all get into huge fights. It's making me really tense."

"Look, I got to go, you guys. I love you all, and I'll talk to you later."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Angel knocked on Collins' front door. She felt somewhat strange being there, seeing as how she knew his parents were not her biggest fans. But she didn't care - she just needed to talk to Collins, to figure out everything that was going on between them.

The door swung open and revealed a shocked Mrs. Collins. "What are you doing here?"

"I really need to talk to Collins. It's... life or death." And this was somewhat true. Without Collins in her life, Angel would absolutely die. There was no question about it.

Collins' mother eyed Angel warily, debating whether or not to let Angel in. She immediately softened when she saw that Angel was wrestling with an internal conflict, which no doubt had to do with her son. And even though she did not approve of the realtionship between her son and Angel, she opened the door wider and granted entrance.

"Thank you." Angel said softly, giving Mrs. Collins her most geniune, sincere look of gratitude.

Angel bolted up the stairs, dodging Collins younger brothers along the way. Collins swung his door open upon hearing approaching footfalls. His eyes widened as he spotted the person. "Angel - "

Before he knew what was happening, Angel suddenly threw her arms around him, pulling him into a tight embrace. Collins closed his eyes, smiling and breathing in the delicious scent that was his Angel.

"Angel... I was just about to call you, sweetie. You didn't have to come all the way over here. Especially with the warden looming downstairs." He let out a soft chuckle, and pulled away slightly, still keeping Angel at arm's length.

Angel forced out a laugh, and looked up, meetin Collins' gaze. "Actually, I did," Angel took a deep, shaky breath and continued. "You never told me you got into NYU."

Collins hesitated. "I didn't_ not _tell you, if that's what you mean."

"When did you find out?"

"A couple weeks ago." he replied quietly.

"God, Collins!" Angel pulled away roughtly from him in a huff, throwing her hands in the air in frustration. "Were you _ever_ going to tell me?"

"Of course I was! We haven't even graduated yet, and I would've had until September to tell you."

"So... you _are_ going to go?"

Collins sank down onto his bed, burying his head in his hands. "I don't know."

"Well, you might want to find out, and quick, because that day is going to come very soon."

"Why are you lecturing me?"

"Because you may be a genius, but sometimes it seems as though you don't think."

"Oh, now you're insulting me?" Collins said angrily.

Angel scoffed. "Don't be immature."

"Look, Angel, I did think. I mean, don't you get it?" He let out a frustrated sigh. "Don't you get how hard it is for me to choose between a dream I've had since before I can remember, and the person I love more than anything? Well, trust me, it's not easy by any means."

Angel suddenly regretted yellingat Collins. The truth was, she hadn't even thought of what Collins was going through in this mess. "I'm sorry. I didn't even_ think _about that."

Collins shrugged. "It's okay."

"No, it's not. And I really don't think this can be fixed until _you_ step up and make a decision. But I'm not sure that even if you make a decision that I'll be in it. So I was thinking that maybe you and me... just can't work anymore. Not like we used to."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that it seems as though we're going to keep ending up here, and I don't want to. It's always going to be an issue of you leaving, and I can't handle that. I can't keep getting hurt. I can't keep fearing that I'm going to lose you because you have this desire to leave. So I'm _saying_ that our relationship has just... run it's course."

"But I love you!"

"And I love you," Angel replied sadly. "But sometimes love just isn't enough."

**Gah, I hate doing that. But it has to be done. I'm pretty sure there will be about one or two more chapters after this, but I'm not positve. So don't worry! **


	15. Chapter 15

**Just some moments between mother and son. :)**

As Angel stormed out, leaving a devastated Collins behind, Mrs. Collins watched as her misery ridden son slowly made his way down the stairs, his cheeks tear stained. "Honey, are you all right?"

"I don't want to talk about it, Mom. Not now, not ever."

"You don't have to say anything. I heard the whole thing, and I'm so sorry." Mrs. Collins replied sadly, reaching out and pulling her son into a tight embrace. "But why didn't you tell me you two were having problems?"

"It wouldn't have mattered, Mom," Collins said, pulling away, his gaze dropping to the ground. "And besides, what this family doesn't tell you could fill a library of Congress."

Mrs. Collins chuckled lightly. "I've come to realize that over the years. But sweetie, if you love her, you have to - "

Collins scoffed abruptly. "Since when are you gunning for this realationship?"

"Since I figured out that we are never going to be able to change you, as much as we try. What truly matters now is that you're happy, that's all. And I can see, deep down, that Angel makes you happy."

"She does. More than anything," he said softly. "But... as much as I want her back, I have the feeling that she was right, and that it's over for good."

"So you're not even going to try and win her back?" Mrs. Collins asked bewilderedly.

"I'm not stupid enough to think that anyone can just _win_ her. She's worth more than that," he shrugged nonchalantly. "I can only hope that she'll come back to me."

"So what if she turns you down once or _ten_ times. The only things in life of real value are the things you have to fight for."

Collins stood up and poured himself a steaming cup of coffee, breathing in the delicious scent. "That's great, Mom. So now you're teaching me to be a stalker."

"No, I'm not. But you are going to lose her if you don't muster up the courage to just get her back, however it is you do it. You can just sit idly by, watching from the sidelines. That never works. Trying, at least, to work things out is better than doing nothing."

"I think I already _have_ lost her, Mom," Collins said, shaking his head sadly. "It's like we're stuck in relationship purgatory which feels more like relationship _hell_."

"Look, it's not really my place to be saying this, but I think Angel's midset is that if a guy leaves her once, there's a certain promise that he'll do it again."

"You're right, You should not be saying this, mother."

"Thomas, I care about you."

"I appreciate your point of view, Mom, but... look, I know you and Dad never had the perfect, absurd, iconic relationship, and God knows neither did me and Angel, but I'm very glad you and Dad stayed together, if only to show me what a faithful - and I'm not talking about cheating, just something stable and committed - realtionship looks like. But I can't say the same is true for Angel and me. I mean, all I wanted was a life with her, forever, but now that's in shambles."

"Only when you begin saying that does it become true."

"I love Angel. With everything I have. But maybe it's like that old saying, 'If you love something, let it go. If it's meant to be, it'll come back to you.'"

"Maybe you're right, then. Maybe it's time to go your seperate ways."

"As much as I hate it, that's what its come down to," he sighed deeply, resting his head in his hands. "NYU here I come."

"We do the best we can, but sometimes the best we can do is realize we're in over our heads."

**Extremely short, I know. Just a filler chapter. Don't you just hate me for it? I do. ;)**

**The next chapter is the big finale, which I'm both sad and relieved about. Everything is resolved, believe me. But there are no promises. **

**Next chapter: GRADUATION:D**


	16. Chapter 16

**This is, of course, the very last chapter. tear I'm both sad and relieved, and I know you are too. I'd like to dedicate this final chapter to missxflawless for being _my_ Angelcake and for all the good memories we've had and have to come. ENJOY! ;)**

Finally, graduation day had arrived. Angel and Collins knew that excitement was what they should be feeling, but that was the farthest thing from their minds. On top of the fact that they'd be leaving their school and their friends, there was also the matter of each other. They hadn't spoken since Angel had put the brakes on their relationship. Thye passed each other in the halls, or saw each other in class, or even when the whole group was hanging out, but there hadn't been a direct confrontation between the two since. Their friends could easily how much this break up was eating away at them and miserable they were, and the group's failed attempts to get them back together only made things that much harder.

No matter how much he tried, Collins couldn't will himself to speak to Angel. He knew not only would he get a rejection, it would make it ten times harder for him to attempt to move on. Not that he ever could. But each time he saw Angel, he saw the same sad, confused expression. He felt incredibly guilty, knowing it was his fault it was present on her gorgeous face. And yet, he had no idea how much Angel blamed herself for the situation they were curently in. And with graduation looming over their heads later that day, they both knew the day was going to be anything but substantial.

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"I hate this." Collins complained, fiddling with his gown.

"Graduation preparation or being without Angel?" Roger asked.

Collins hesitated. "Both."

"This _is_ your fault, man."

Collins breathed out heavily, making the tassles on his cap fly outward. "Yeah, I know. But I don't know how to fix it."

"Well, don't come to _me_ for women advice. I'm not exactly an expert."

"You're anything but."

Roger glared at his best friend. "Lovely encouragement, man."

Collins smiled. "I know."

"Look, if it were me, I'd just... go to her, beg forgiveness, tell her you love you her and buy flowers. And candy. _And _jewelry."

"Angel's not one for romantic cliches. But that's not the point," Collins slipped of his cap and tossed it aside. "The point is that I screwed up and I have to live with that. She doesn't trust me, and frankly, I don't blame her. I think I should seriously make a career out of being an ass, because everything I touch gets messed up and - "

Roger placed his head in his hands and groaned. "Would you stop _bitching_? God, it's your damn fault and then you stand here and play the martyr. I don't get it! You know that you've tried, and maybe it hasn't worked, but you just have to_ keep _trying. Angel loves you more than anything, and there's a solution to this little catch 22 you've gotten yourself into, and when you find out what that is, you can make things work. But this is honestly getting old, Collins, when you know damn well you're just afraid. No guile, no game...no girl," Roger shook his head sadly at his best friend. "I'll see you at the ceremony, Collins."

Although his words had stung, and Collins _was_ taken aback, he realized that Roger was right. He knew there was a way he could find happiness in both aspects of his life without losing the things he valued most. And he knew exactly how to get out of this predicament.

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The senior class had congregated in the cafeteria, waiting until it was time to depart for the auditorium, beginning the departure into their new lives. Collins stood with his friends, waiting patiently for even a glimpse of Angel. In a matter of moments, he'd be walking up those stairs and down the aisle to accept his diploma. But before he could move on to the next chapter in his life, he had to get back the piece of it that was missing.

He glanced around the room for the thousandth time since his arrival, and his gaze landed on Angel. This time, Angel was dressed down - no makeup, no heels or skirt, just her cap and gown. But nevertheless, Collins thought she was the most beautiful thing in the room, drag or no drag. He approached her slowly, lightly placing his hand on her shoulder. Angel turned and what once was a smile had now faded.

"Angel, hey," Collins said softly, giving her a tiny smile.

"Collins. I was actually looking for you." she replied, and, in response to the confused look on his face, continued. "You know, to say congratulations on being valedictorian and everything."

Collins smile widened briefly. "Thank you."

Angel tentatively reached out, and pulled Collins into a familiar embrace. "NYU really is getting the best." she whispered into his ear.

"I know." he whispered back. As he pulled away, he saw the forlorn look in his ex lover's eyes, and he was tempted to just kiss her, and tell her he loved her and that everything was going to be okay. But he knew he couldn't do that; he had to do things the right way. "Angel?"

"Yeah?"

"Can - can we go somewhere...to talk?"

Angel laughed lightly, biting her lip in anxiousness. "We're seconds away from finally being free from this place, and you want to talk _now_? No offense, but I kind of would like to graduate the year I'm supposed to and _not_ miss out on it."

Collins laughed, trying to make light of their current situation. "They can't start graduation without the valedictorian and his speech, now can they?"

Angel shrugged nonchalantly. "I guess you're right. But seriously, we need to hurry. They'll _kill_ you if you screw with their graduation. I think they'd likethis _one _lastschool event where Tom Collins _doesn't _intervene with loco shit."

Collins grinned at how civil and laid back Angel was being, given their current state, and gently took her by the hand, leading her to the nearby bathroom.

"Of all places, Collins, it _had_ to be the bathroom?" Angel sighed heavily, shaking his head. "Only you."

He was now face to face with Angel in the teeny bathroom, his hand still gripping hers. "Ang, I - "

Angel held up a hand, abruptly stopping Collins. "I think I know what you're going to say. And..." she sniffled, tears threatening to spill. "I'm not so sure I can handle it. Especially not today."

"Just hear me out." he said softly, gently tapping her chin with his knuckle, and lifting her gaze back to his. Before he knew it, he had leaned forward and pressed his lips ever so slightly against hers. She hesitated for a mere second before returning the kiss, barely registering his hand moving from her chin to tangle in her curls as she parted her lips and tilted softly over his. Oh, how she _missed_ this. She missed _him_.

Angel pulled away, her hand still enveloped in his. "You've made your point." she breathed.

"I'm not even close."

"What do you mean?"

Collins sighed. "You are what I never knew I always wanted. When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with a person, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible. Where my future leads, I don't know. But if you're not in it, I don't want to go."

This time, a lone tear slipped down Angel's cheek and Collins caught it, wiping it away. "Collins...I'm doing my thing, and you're doing yours. It just...it'd be too hard to try and make it work. As much as I _do_ love you, we're two very different people with two very different ideas about where we're going in life. You're going to_ NYU _and all I want to do is - " Angel shrugged, and scoffed. " - sing and play music. Those things just don't mesh, believe me."

Collins shook his head, and gripped Angel's shoulders, staring deeply into her eyes. "I don't care. As long as I'm with you, what we're doing for schooling or careers or whatever _doesn't matter_," Collins replied as Angel continued crying and shrugging it off. "And I have a proposition for you... which I'm_ hoping _you'll agree to you."

Angel's head shot up, her eyes flashing with the possibility of hope. "What are you talking about?"

"Now that my parents finally accepted the fact that I'd never stop loving you or change my ways just to please them, they've come around to the idea of you and me being together...for good. And I talked them into letting me live off campus in my own apartment...with you...I'm hoping."

Angel's jaw dropped and her eyes widened instantly. "Am I being punk'd?"

Collins laughed. "I swear to God it's not a joke. It's like our own little fairytale ending."

Suddenly, Angel threw her arms around Collins' neck, wrapping him in a tight embrace. He felt hot tears hit his gown, but he didn't care. All he cared about now was that he had his Angelcake. Angel pulled away slightly and gave him a soft kiss. "I love you."

"Is that a yes?"

Angel laughed and wiped the tears away with the back of her hand. "Yes."

--------------------------------------------------

As his glorious speech ended and the caps flew, Collins looked around at his surroundings, and sighed in contentment. He realized how lucky he was to have what he had, and how much he had grown in the past year. Albeit there'd been some mistakes, he didn't regret a single thing. But now that he knew what the future held for him, and his Angel was _finally_ his again, he couldn't _wait_ to begin the next step in his journey.

**Gah, I'm not so sure I gave it the ending I should've, but everything is resolved and they lived happily ever after, which ****is ****all that matters. :D**

**I'd like to thank all of you who have invested your time and love into the story, and I owe it to you all. Without you, it wouldn't be the same. **


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